A reading for my grand children, and for you as well.
A reading for my grand children, and for you as well.
During the introduction, we were each asked to answer a couple of questions around our table.
These questions were meant as kind of an ice breaker, and a lead right in to the topic we are studying.
Well they were ice breakers to be sure, but to me one of these questions was so much more. It sent me on another journey, into the background that makes me who I am.
All of the time I have spent on introspection, I would like to think that it is all finished.
As we have spoken of in a previous post, it will not be finished as long as we are here on this earth.
However, our Merciful Father in Heaven will allow no more than we can handle at any one time.
Each journey into our background and back out again, carries with it another piece of healing, filling in the puzzle that is us.
Have you ever been putting a puzzle together and many pieces go together quickly?
Have you noted that in the very same puzzle, some can take a long time to place?
Each of these remaining pieces needs to be inspected.
They perhaps need to be held in your hand, and placed and replaced until the proper
place is found.
If you do not enjoy the process, you probably will never finish the puzzle.
The question we were asked, seemed very innocuous at the time it was asked, but the more I reflected on it, the more I could sense that this would not be over, just because the class was.
This piece would have to be investigated closely.
Here are the questions;
* How many lived in your home when you were seven?
* Who was the warmest person in your life at that time?
Harmless questions right?
Well as the others spoke their answers, I sought my own answer to the question “Who was the warmest person in your life at that time?”
What I soon realized, was that I could not remember even one “warm” person in my life.
Were people supposed to be warm?
The only thing that came to my mind was that during my very young life, we used to travel every Sunday to my Grampas house in the country.
While there, I would climb the apple trees in his orchard and visit the hay mow in the barn.
Life was peaceful if only for a short time.
After dinner, I can recall clearly, sitting on my Grampas lap in his big comfy chair, eating popcorn out of an enamel roasting pan and watching Lawrence Welk.
I believe that was the safest, coziest, warmest spot I ever knew.
When the show was over, it was time to load up and go home.
My heart longed for our return the following week.
Those visits came to an abrupt end, when there was a misunderstanding between my Father and my Grandpa that got me a beating that today would have landed me in the hospital and my Father in jail.
Father never apologized and Grandpa would not let him return until he did.
I never got over the fact that it was my fault that we could not visit any more.
My warm person/spot was gone.
Grampa came to town to live with us several years later, after my Grandma died, and my Mother and Father divorced, but our relationship was never the same.
I knew it was my fault.
I didn’t find out until much later why it had changed so drastically, and that was that I had grown up, and he didn’t feel that hugging or snuggling with a girl my age was proper.
So NOT my fault.
But the damage was already done.
So. After class, I was compelled to come and go through the family photos left here by my Mom.
There I found snapshots of brief moments of family life. Brief shots. Brief smiles.
I also, sadly, noticed that in nearly all of the photos of that time period, the smile never went to the eyes.
That sounds strange maybe, but it was there. I saw it.
Here are two photos I found of myself. In one of them, my favorite one, I was four. See the light in the eyes? They twinkled.
I think this may have been before I found out I was defective.
See the second photo? Age seven. Sad smile. No twinkle.
I’m still processing what I see.
I’m still examining every piece.
With God’s help, and His alone, I will be able to fully place the truth, and go on to another piece.
Ladies and Gentlemen; here is the truth;
YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE!
AND NEITHER WAS I!
Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV1984)
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Do not be afraid of the process.
Join me in placing the pieces where they rightly fit.
Let us hold God’s hands together,
And believe the truth.
John 8:32 (KJV)
32 And ye shall know the truth, and (He) the truth shall make you free.
I once believed that if I “thought too highly of myself” it was a sign of selfishness.
I was told I thought more highly of myself than I ought.
I once believed that stating my abilities was bragging about how good I was.
I was told I was a show off, and that I needed to stop it.
I once even believed that if I tried to show any of these talents, then people would tell me I was wrong, and that I actually had no talent at all.
Sadly, they told me this, all through my life, and I believed them.
Many times these declarations came from those who were either supposed to look after my well being, or if not them, then from someone I had dared to step out of myself to trust.
I was taught that “I” statements, should be phrased as “we” statements.
Hence, I would not be attracting too much attention to myself.
Even my journals were phrased in this way.
I may not know you, but I do know something about people, and even a little bit about what makes them tick.
May I just start by saying that when we are small, and then even as we grow, we have the ability to be either weak or strong, healthy or sick, bright or dim, positive or negative.
Of course a lot of this comes from our genetic code, but I believe much, much more of it comes from what we are told as we grow.
“Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.” – Henry Ford
Here is a bit of what I already knew, I knew it because these scriptures said it was so;
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says that – We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.
The Living Bible translation says that we can capture these rebels (thoughts) and change them into thoughts whose hearts’ desire is obedience to Christ.
By re-working how I think in this way, I can choose God’s thoughts for myself.
I have it on good authority (God’s word) that it is OK for me to declare what God has put in side of me.
By declaring this truth, I am actually strengthening and re-strengthening the fact for my heart to know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am choosing an obedient thought instead of a lie.
When I capture all those negative thoughts placed in my mind, I literally take them, and trade them in. I don’t like those thoughts, and like returning a purchase at the store, I’ll choose some other thoughts.
I’ll choose the thoughts that God has thought about me all along.
I’ll choose the ones I was not able to hear for all the untrue ones that were loudly going off in my head!
If we choose rightly, the way we think of ourselves,
– The way God thinks of us –
We become His “Show and Tell”.
What day was more exciting than “Show and Tell”?
When we could share our most prized possession with the class!
He is excited to show us off!
He absolutely loves what He has created!
He wants the world to see!
When we reflect HIS image,
People will see and know that we belong to a loving Creator God.
Now you may or may not know much about this God of whom I speak.
Whatever the case, please allow me to give you some of God’s own words to let you know and realize the way He thinks of you, the way He sees you.
Please allow God’s words for you, seep into your heart.
Please allow them to marinate your person with His extreme love for you.
I’ve given you a dozen verses to consider.
Then you may even wish to consider your own.
(Perhaps there is a little private “Show and Tell” between you and God in your near future.)
This is all I have for you today.
It is enough for now.
God so wants to make these truths real to you.
Won’t you give Him a try?
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Another look back. This time to March 11, 2010.
After looking back, with the thought in mind about cycles, I began to think that one “cycle” in life that would be of benefit to us, would be the one where we persistently, tenaciously, strive after God.
At times I strive for him deeply, while at other times, my mind and body just do not want to cooperate.
It took many years for me to find out that these cycles are normal, and that if I slow down a bit, rest adequately, and don’t believe all the negative press I give myself, that these cycles pass. As I told a friend recently, “They didn’t come to stay, they came to pass.”
The 2010 writing is as follows;
James 1:4 stopped me in my tracks this morning.
Here’s how it reads; Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I’ve been asking God about some things lately that seem to go on and on and on. When I read this verse, I had to read it again and again and again.
Then I did a little word study, and here’s what I found. There is a “Crafted Prayer” at the end.
The dictionary I used was a Websters, copyright 1989, and the concordance was the NIV Exhaustive Concordance, copyright 1990.
Dictionary definitions; Numbered definitions are from the original Greek.
Lord, Help me to hold on to You in spite of the obstacles I face, so that I may bring You glory. Help me to patiently stand firm until my development in You is complete. Help me to give careful thought to Your word, until my growth has nothing missing or broken. Help me to be completely whole, having nothing needed.
Let Your glory be shown in me.
Persist with me. Persist with Him.
Nothing missing, nothing broken. Won’t that be glorious?
In preparation for a speaking engagement in a couple of weeks, I’m going over some old blog posts.
Isn’t it funny (not funny ha ha, but funny strange) how the same things keep coming around again and again? (The topic I’ll be speaking about is “Cycles” Funny?)
Note the date of the original post. Do you keep going around the same circles like me? Like the Israelite’s. The same circle for 40 years? I would not believe it if I had not done it myself so many times.
Posted by Deborah at Thursday, March 04, 2010
When I was little there was a show on called Romper Room. The theme song said “Do be a do bee and don’t be a don’t bee.” Well my “Do bee” and my “Don’t bee” have been colliding as of late. Stated another way, my Do-er and my Be-er have been having a fight. My flesh says go and go, do and do. My spirit says stop striving. Listen for His heartbeat. The only way to hear it is to be. From just about every direction I’m hearing the same thing. Rest. Rest well. Repeat. Be intentional about listening. Reflect. Ponder. Then, I feel like I’m doing that too much and being lazy. I’ve really had to ask God where that line is. How can I be a “Do bee” and not cover His heartbeat with busy, and how can I be a “Don’t bee” without being slothful. It is a fine line, but one that I believe He wants me to explore. This mornings sermon implored us to put our whole faith in God. Trusting in Him alone to keep ourselves in balance. We cannot earn it or learn it. We have to look (at Him) and live. I’m looking at Him, and believing that my life will have the proper balance of “do-ing” and “be-ing”
Sound familiar to anyone?
Well, the next posting was SO helpful.
I be sharing it with you soon!
This past weekend, my husband and I went to a regional conference in Minneapolis.
The conference was great, and we learned a lot. We met with old friends, and made some new ones. And of course, we ate entirely too much good food!
When the conference was over, we were treated to a private tour of Fort Snelling.
It was a short tour, but amazing because there were only four of us with our guide.
I put all my photos in a small video so that I could share them with you.
The photos, of course, don’t do it justice. You need to go yourself!
Imagine yourself living in the Commandants house (see how short that bed is!), or in the barracks, or looking through the portals and seeing your enemy on his way!
While we were there, I kept imaging the sound of the bugle calls flowing over the parade grounds.
So I added a couple of links, in case you were inspired to hear them as well.
Thanks for stopping in!
Listen here –> In My Own Little Corner
Those years of playing alone, I was really quite content, but it weighed heavy that I didn’t appear to fit in with all the others.
I am, as are you, exactly the way that God planned for us to be.
He has a plan for us. Whether we are happy being quiet, or happy being in a boisterous crowd.
I have learned to enjoy peacefulness in a way that others cannot. Quietude.
I can function quite well in a crowd, but Quietude calls my name.
How about you?