Tag Archive | Life

This Week’s 5 for 5 Brain Dump Challenge Day 2

The beauty of the 5 for 5? No need to edit as you go. Just free flow writing. So sometimes it’s a mess, and it’s OK.

Go here to find out how it’s done: 5for5braindump.weebly.com

Being alive. Do I notice the sun’s rays in the morning? Do I see and feel the dew on the grass? Do I smell the fresh morning air, before the traffic begins to move? Do I quiess in the silent moments when it seems only the birds are awake?

These are the morning senses. The ones I used to sleep through. Now, they are the ones I can’t wait to experience, the ones I can’t stand to miss.

Part of being alive? Yes. I believe so. It helps me to come alive with a better understanding of who God is. How BIG He is. My mind cannot comprehend.

Just a taste of His glory, for all the world to see, if we will only look for it.

The heavens declare His righteousness, and all the people see His glory.

Psalms 97:6 KJV

 

 

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Books That Changed My Life #4

I stumbled upon this book while looking at research on Asperger Syndrome. The name caught my attention, as I was looking for ways to understand and connect with my grandchild, who has the syndrome. Asperkid

I did not want to do anything that would make their situation worse, so a full understanding of what their life was like was in order. Little did I know just how well suited I was to understand!

As I was reading, I began to see a little familiarity. Some of the things listed in this book, I understood all too well. As the author first states in the first pages of the book ; ” Where was this book when I, like, needed it?”

Growing up, I always felt like the square peg in the round hole. The one who was always a bit too loud, a bit too kinetic, a bit too spacey, a bit too dreamy. These were the nice things I was called. I was constantly breaking many social rules that I never knew existed.

Now, more than ever I needed to be able to understand my grand child, by doing so, would also understand myself as well. After all these years. Years of ruminating over the smallest inflections of disapproval from other people, the lights began to brighten.

I was not defective. I was wired differently. My curvy way of thinking didn’t mesh well with the linear, stand in a straight line kind of thinking of organized school, and now I knew why. Indeed I was a square peg, but it was OK.

Enter Psalm 139: 1-4, 13-16, 23-24 (ESV). It reads as follows;

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

139 Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts![c]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting![d]

 

He knew me all along, and created me just the way I was supposed to be!

 

 

Books That Changed My Life #3

         Eucharisteo. Thankfulness. Live Eucharisteo.

Philippians 4:11-12 (RSV)

11 Not that I complain of want; for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content. (Thankful) 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and want.

one thousand gifts

I never ever thought to be thankful. I was too busy guarding myself from the pain of what I didn’t have.

Through her book, Ann taught me that it is indeed “Holy work” to list what we are thankful for.

Name those things. When you name them, the things you think you lack, cannot haunt you anymore.

Some of the things you may lists, seem inconsequential. Too small to even note. Note them anyway. One to One Thousand. Some will seem larger and more important than others, list them all, you will see, they will add up. The more they add up, the freer you become!

Begin with a pen, or a crayon, or a marker. Use your voice. Use the shutter on your camera. Every word of thanks is a sacred act.

I consider myself a woman of prayer, but Ann showed me that the only way to really BE that, is to be a woman of thanks. I had no chip for that, so it took a while. One gratitude at a time.

And now, I am most grateful for every day. Every breath. Every thing that goes well, and even for every aggravation. Why? Because it gives opportunity to practice EVEN MORE thankfulness.

What are you thankful for? Coffee in your cup? Nuzzling soft baby hair against your cheek? A quiet sunrise? Shoes on your feet? The ability to take a breath or the very fact the you even woke up this morning? ………………………………………

I could go on and on, but it’s your turn. Care to share?

 

 

 

Books That Changed My Life #2

Part of Mary’s description on the back cover of her book says this; “Thin places are snatches of holy ground, tucked into a corner of our world, where we might just catch a glimpse of eternity. They are aha moments of beautiful realizations.”

Thin Places
For me, the book began stirring my heart on the very first page. I recognize this little one as a kindred spirit. A little girl in love with her Daddy. With his death at an early age, her life is changed forever. My heart is stirred.

The abuse begins early. She is threatened into silence. She is under the control of the choices of others. I understand, all too well. My heart is stirred. She learned to protect herself. Silence to the world, walls building on the inside, turning her pain into numbness. I know how to do that. My heart is stirred. 

The protection she gave herself, became a thin place for her, a place where she could “be somewhere else”. A place of knowing that people fail people, and that people take what they want at any cost. So she learned to hide. And I am stirred. But truly not gently stirred, but (violently) shaken.

In her book, Mary speaks of the longings we have as children. The ones that are very strong. The ones we cannot understand. The ones that make us doubt out worth. Longing for things that symbolize something we lack. Envying what others have, and thinking what they have will satisfy. I understand her very well. I don’t want to, but I do.

Throughout her memoir, Mary speaks of all the hidden emotions, locked inside. With searing accuracy she speaks of recognizing each one, as a Thin Place, and the healing that comes from that recognition.

I can only wonder, how many others like me there are out there. Like Mary. Those are the ones I long to be with, helping them to find and explore those Thin Places.

For me, This book was a Thin Place. Another place to see all that was hidden, and to make sense of it. A place to begin to heal.

Please feel free to comment, or message me.

 

 

Someone Else’s Life

I don’t know who she was.

That little one wound like a spring.

Someone else’s life.                             .

 

I don’t know what she wanted.

She didn’t know either.

Someone else’s life.

 

I don’t know the questions she needed answers to.

She searched and searched and protected her heart.

Someone else’s life.

 

I don’t know all the places she looked ,

For love, acceptance and freedom,

Someone else’s life.

 

I don’t know how it became,

But love found her,

Way back there,

In someone else’s life.

Perceived Value vs. True Value

 

What does the world we live in value?

  • Money
  • Status
  • Popularity
  • Perfection
  • Nirvana

The way our world believes can often be summed up by the popular statement; “He who dies with the most toys wins.”

While these things may be satisfying for a while, that satisfaction goes away, and our song becomes; “I can’t get no satisfaction”.

The status that we work and work for, to get the respect and all the trimmings and bling, steal from our families the one thing they really want; our presence. 

Note the spelling.  Presence, not presents. 

Our families will soon forget what we bought them, but they will never forget that we took time to be with them.

We believe that if we have all this “stuff”, then we will also have the attention and admiration of those with whom we come into contact with. 

Adding all this to our lives will give us a “perfect” life.

We reach Nirvana.  Nirvana, defined as paradise and heaven. 

Unfortunately, the further definition of Nirvana is illusion or fantasy.  The trimmings and bling and stuff that we have acquired, need care.  Lots of care. 

All that care takes away some of the feeling of paradise, and also takes away from our people the very thing they want most.  Time that is only for them.

In the end, all the bling will all go away.  In the end, all the trimmings will all turn to dust.  This too shall burn.

What do we as Christians value?

  • Money
  • Status
  • Popularity
  • Perfection
  • Fire Insurance

In the world in which we live, many Christians, not all, but many, live the same kind of lives that the people who don’t claim to know God live. 

Their desire is to have everything that their pre-Christian counter-parts have. 

The difference is simply that they put a great big God label on all their stuff.  It is even possible to find a scripture or two to back up all of their getting. 

These continue to live on in this life style because they know that they will spend eternity in heaven with God. 

Fire Insurance.    http://wp.me/p1Deai-51

What does God value?

God values YOU!  He created YOU!  He loves YOU!

Read what Ron Hutchcraft has to say about your value;

You’ve probably had plenty of messages in your life that have made you feel more like the postcard than the masterpiece. Maybe you’ve been rejected, ignored, hurt, or used. Maybe you’ve been criticized a lot, put down, and all by people who didn’t know who you really are. But because of all those negative messages, you have this lie playing in your brain – “you’re not worth much; you can’t do much; you’re not good enough.” Remember it’s not your friends who determine what you’re worth, or your critics, or your family, or your culture, or your boss. It is your Designer. He gave you your worth the moment you were conceived by Him.                  

http://hutchcraft.com/A-Word-With-You/Your-Hard-Times/Untouchable-Worth-5585

Remember Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

God values your life.  Your value comes from Him alone.

If you have not had your Significant Encounter with Jesus Christ yet, you can begin to understand your value in Him. 

When you are ready, you can click on the “Rescue” tab at the top of the page.

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Illuminations

 

I’ve always had a fascination with houses. 

Big or small. 

Old or new. 

City or country.

Exquisite or plain.

It does not matter.

I am enthralled with them all.

What one might find odd about this fascination is that it always begins on the outside. 

In the dark.

Walking in the dark, I would see the light from people’s windows falling out on to their yards.

I would see some of what adorned the walls inside their homes.

As a child passenger in the car at night I had little to do but watch out the window. 

The houses we passed by were lit from the inside too.

This light showing from those homes speeding by made it possible for my wandering, creative, dreaming, little girl mind to make up my own little stories about how others lived.

The inhabitants inside would never know the dreams of this child.

I often wondered what they would think if they did.

Funny, how they did not even know I was there.

I never wanted to see anything I shouldn’t see, private moments and the like;

So it was not anything creepy, I just enjoyed the small glimpses I got of someone else’s life.

I was an adult before I would find what the attraction was.

It all began when I first encountered an artist named Thomas Kinkade.  

http://www.thomaskinkade.com/magi/servlet/com.asucon.ebiz.biography.web.tk.BiographyServlet

https://www.google.com/search?q=thomas+kinkade&hl=en&rlz=1T4ADRA_enUS423US427&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=sxPlTvmeLcOAgweIoLn5BQ&ved=0CL8BELAE&biw=1280&bih=685

I sensed something in his pictures that attracted me just like the homes that had attracted my little girl attentions for all these years.

His paintings awoke something in me that was waiting to be explored and understood.

I began to consider this attraction I had, from the first time I had a sense of it.

Since I was small, and no one knew I was dreaming these dreams, since no one knew that

I was making up these stories, I could continue to do it, and be safe.

I was safe from punishment, since I was much in trouble for daydreaming.

I was safe from ridicule, since my every move made someone verbally assault me.  http://wp.me/p1Deai-1h

I was safe from the people that harmed me in my real life.                                            http://wp.me/p1Deai-3E  

I could imagine a life where there was no pain.                                                                http://wp.me/p1Deai-1U                     

I could dream of a life where people loved and protected those in their care.          http://wp.me/p1Deai-1W

In this life of make believe, in this life of story, I was safe, even though my real life was dark.

As a teen ager, I fell into the abyss of believing everything every one said about me, so I became a self fulfilling prophecy.

Only on a very few occasions was I able to escape back to the world of making story from someone else’s light.

As an adult, I married and became a mom. 

I had little time for such foolishness, until …………………

The children were old enough to take on long walks in the city where we lived.

Those long walks with our little family, seemed to re-kindle the flame for seeing light and making up story.

So now, enter Thomas Kinkade.

What did I see in his paintings? 

Why was I drawn to them? 

What was their affect on me?

Then I read somewhere that Thomas Kinkade was known as “The Painter of Light”.

Somewhere, from the beginning of my childhood, I had sensed a kind of darkness. 

It was all around me.  It seemed to cling to me like a garment.

I have learned much about this garment, but that tale is for another time.

What is for this time is this;

In Thomas Kinkade’s paintings, there was always light.

The light was always bright, but the light was also always soft.

Darkness could be all around, but in the softness of that light, there was comfort and safety.

When my eyes beheld the light from these windows in the night,

and I made up my stories about them, there was always safety in the story.

It may have been absent in my life, but I somehow knew, that comfort and safety were somewhere.

When my eyes beheld the light from Thomas Kinkade’s paintings,

there was always safety.  There together, abiding with comfort.

Where did the light come from in both of these scenarios? 

The light came from within.                    Inside.

Matthew 5:16  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Revelation 18:1b He had great authority, and the earth was illuminated by his splendor.

Colossians 1:27  To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

We must choose to let God’s light shine out from us.

The light that He deposits within us, can light the way for another!

Would you choose to let Him illuminate your insides today?

In the home I share with my husband and one really big dog, you will find a soft light in every room. 

It is a bright light.                                                                                                                                

It is a soft light.

It is a strong light.                                                                      

It is bright enough to light the way.

It is soft enough to bring comfort.

It is strong enough to chase the darkness away.

As you drive by, except for Christmas time when there is a tree there,

In the front window you will see a lighthouse.

Always lit.  

A spot of comfort in the darkness.

A beacon of safety in the night.

Beckoning little girl and boy dreamers to keep dreaming.

Inviting Significant Encounters of the Jesus kind to passers by.

So they can shine light in the darkness as well!

Isaiah 9:2  The people walking in darkness  have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned

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