Tag Archive | Freedom

Crazy Women in Caves, With Oil!

I heard the following quote at a conference in 2007.

I ran across it again while reviewing my journals.

First the quote, then, why it was so important to me.

“David was in a cave with some crazy people and some oil.”

The back story on this (a study I did) comes from years of feeling inadequate, lonely, and unloved, until finally, after my mother’s death, I went inside myself. I slowly took myself away from  most forms of social activity. During that time I became increasingly unhealthy in my body. At one point, for a couple of years, it was difficult to even get off the floor to get a drink of water from the kitchen. I only moved when I absolutely had to. I had two engagements each week that expected me to show up, so I did. No more.

The healing part of this story is for another time, but when I began to heal, the Lord put on my heart that I was a cave dweller.

Now cave dwelling is fine. For a season. But it was time to leave the cave for a while.

I argued that He had provided me a pretty cool cave, and that I was comfy here. To which I heard, “Comfy is what you come back to, to rest, but to come back, you first have to leave.”

As the healing was beginning, I had a handful of gals come to my home once a week for coffee and a book study. I had shared with them that I was literally a crazy lady hiding out with my friends in my cave on Wednesdays! (Note, I still wasn’t LEAVING MY CAVE.)

First I looked up CRAZY – full of defects and imperfections. Thanks a lot.

Before actually leaving my comfy cave, I looked up caves in my faithful, old, blue, 400 pound Strong’s Concordance. (No Google or https://www.biblegateway.com/  back then!) I looked up all the cave words I could find. Over 20 references!

I won’t name them all, but here is a short list of things people did in/with caves;

  • Lived in caves
  • Bought caves for burials
  • Some belonged to families so that they could all be buried in the same place
  • Some kings hid in caves, then they were executed and placed back there after the fact
  • Mighty men and prophets hid in them and were fed there
  • They were used to sleep in when travelling
  • Eat. Rest. Strengthen.
  • Used as shelters and strongholds
  • Living places for the homeless
  • A place of death (plague)
  • A place of prayer
  • And even a hiding away from the Lord place

What is the oil for?

  • Beautification
  • Fresh oil meant prosperity
  • Lack of oil meant judgement, curse, agricultural disaster
  • Good oil meant stability and prosperity
  • Used to anoint and sanctify
  • Used to consecrate tabernacles – made the tabernacle “Most Holy”. If anyone “unholy” touched the “Most Holy” item, they would die.
  • Sign of the Holy Spirit

Now, here we are. Present day. How does that apply, and why must we leave our caves?

As you can see by the uses for the oil, it can be a pretty powerful thing. It can give stability and prosperity. It has power to give life, and to take it.

The cave, (our homes) are used for many of the things caves were. (Hopefully/fortunately not graves) We eat. We rest. We heal.

We have all this power (oil) in our caves, and we’re not using it.

We need to use our caves to pray, eat, rest, strengthen, then, we need to take our oil and use it for good. We can share it with those no hope.

That power is simply wasted when it is hidden away in a cave.

I have a friend who says that the world needs our words. Could those words possibly be the healing balm/oil that someone needs?

We have it, and we’re hiding.

We find comfort in our caves, but there are others, without hope, who can be helped by a little bit of our oil, if we can just leave our comfort but for a little bit.

So go. Spread your healing oil around and then, you can always come back to your cave to rest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A-Ha Moment.

I’m part of a live-streaming group called the PeriGirls. (Shameless plug) They are a tribe of  over 10,00 women live streamers. I have learned SO MUCH from these women! They have activities for absolutely anything and every thing you could be interested in.

If you don’t know them you can Go Here  to find out more.

OK. Back to the A-Ha moment.

The other day, the topic of discussion for the PeriGirls was to talk about an Epiphany or A-Ha moment you have had. It was so interesting to hear other women’s stories, told in their own words.

My Epiphany or A-Ha moment came a couple of days later, and that’s what I want to tell you about.

I was watching a movie with my husband. The scene took place in a news room. A pre- cell phone news room. There were phones ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Everywhere.

A thought crossed my mind about schools. The school system. The schools I went to back in the day.

School, the place itself, the place they MAKE children go to, are by their very nature, very loud, busy, crazy noisy and chaotic.

All that noise without stopping, did the same thing to me then that it does to me now. It gives me brain fog, and makes me want to hide. The difference is that back then, I had no recourse. There was no fix. I had no idea how to make it stop, nor did I even know that something needed fixed. It’s just the way it was.

Nowadays, there are some schools of thought that say we need to teach children in the way that they are wired. That we teach to their strengths. These children feel needed, nurtured, accepted and loved.

These children, are taught that they are amazing just the way they are. They are taught that different is not bad, it’s just different. The square peg does not have to fit in the round hole, nor should we make it try to.

Thirteen years of schooling, old school style, took up until my mid fifties to untangle.

I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. I no longer need to hide. I AM made in the very image of God. God does not make junk, nor does He make mistakes. He wired me how He wanted be to be wired. He knew my days before I had even one of them.

Guess what?

He knows you that way too – Ponder that for a while!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Bridges

Bridges come in many shapes and sizes.

Each built to withstand the elements surrounding it.

Simple beam bridges, may only cross a stream or a gully too difficult to traverse, and are seldom longer than 250 feet.

BeamBridge-diagram.svg

A truss bridge is a superstructure meant to carry heavy loads.

TrussBridge-diagram.svg

A cantilever bridge stretches over the obstacle, is only attached on the ends, and raises in the middle to allow for larger loads to go UNDER.

CantileverBridge-diagram.svg

An arch bridge carries the weight of traffic through the abutments on either side. These bridges are strong enough to carry trains.

ArchBridge-diagram.svg

Tied arch bridges, or bow string bridges are constructed a bit differently, and the weight is carried through tension in the bottom cord of the bridge.

TiedarchBridge-diagram.svg

Suspension bridges are suspended from cables. The earliest ones being ropes and vines. The cables hang from towers that are built deep into the ground below the bridge.

SuspensionBridge-diagram.svg

Cable-stayed bridges, like suspension bridges, are held up by cables, but have less cables, and taller towers.

CableStayedBridge-diagram.svg

But my very favorite bridge  of all is the Gospel bridge. It’s the one that God provided for us. It is built with eternity in mind. It bridges a gap that I can’t jump. I’m thankful to have a path to choose. One that is strong enough to carry a load that I could never bare.

Image result for gospel bridge

5 for 5 Brain Dump – From December 5

If you don’t know what 5 for 5 Brain Dump is, Here to find out more.

The prompt on December 5th was;

When I trust the process I ….

5 minutes, here’s what happened.

When I trust the process …

… I no longer carry the weight of OMG – What if it doesn’t work?

… I watch as my ideas unfold and take shape.

… I am often surprised at the direction my thoughts take.

… I recognize the freedom that God has given me. To process by writing, speaking,    singing, asking questions. By being very quiet with no expectation needed.

… I am free to express my ANY thing that burns in my heart. (like my daughter Mary does)

Fearless. Expressive. Free. Unchained.

I am most grateful for this process.

It keeps me trusting, open, and free of the childhood mess that entrapped me for most of my years.

This is the end of my 5 minutes. Even here, believing every bit I’ve said, I was tempted to edit.

But that is not the process of the 5 for 5 Brain Dump.

And I choose to trust the process.

 

Who Are You Really?

On one of my self-excavating pilgrimages, I asked myself this question.Magnifying Glass

First I will tell you, that on these pilgrimages, of which there have been many, my travelling companions have been God the Father, His son Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

My strong belief is that through this trinity, the truth and life can be found.

The excavation can be lengthy, and often times raw, but well worth the treasure found in the end. Quitting came to mind many times, but I had to remember to keep my eyes on the prize; Freedom.

That being said, I began my journey with the old soundtrack running in my mind. You may even share the same soundtrack. It is the old song that tells you that you are ordinary, rejected, overlooked and insignificant.

In order for me to be able to show up, to tell my story, to use my voice, I needed to know exactly what God thought of me.

The first thing I did, was locate what my mentor and teacher Graham Cooke called “Inheritance scriptures”. If you are familiar with the Bible, then you should have no problem here. If you are not, let me just say that I believe it is the complete and totally true Word of God, a map and guide to how we should live our lives.

Just so you know, there is no judgement here if you believe it, or even if you don’t, but that is the direction I am coming from.

So. Inheritance verses. Life verses. Verses that come to life every time you read them. At times, even though you may know them, believe them, trust them, the old soundtrack still tries to take over. This is where it is important to keep your verses close at hand.

I enjoy the Psalms, many of my inheritance words were first uttered by the subject David. He was so real. Happy, sad, powerful, weak, joyful, angry, courageous, fearful. Full range of emotions. Many of his words fit me, and most likely you too, here are some, my inheritance words, I claim them for myself, you can claim them too;

Psalms 18:19 (Speaking of God) He brought me into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me.

Psalms 57:1b I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.

Psalms 119:65 Great peace have they that love your law. Nothing cause them to stumble.

Psalms 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalms 131;1-2 My heart is not proud, Lordmy eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with things great matters or things too difficult for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

All of these verses give me rest. I call them to memory when times are hard. They buoy my spirit, and keep my heart strong.

But none does that for me like this last one though; I share it with you, to make you strong;

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

He knows us. He tells us what He thinks of us. He tells us who we are.

We are not ordinary, rejected, overlooked or insignificant.

Join me again here again as I share more of my “Excavation of my soul”.

 

 

 

In All Honesty……

I’ve been told most of my Christ following life that I needed to memorize scripture.

All of my Christ following life I have tried.

In all honesty …… I’ve failed miserably.

Every trick, every hack, every equation I have accessed to do it has failed.

As a result, in all of my Christ following life,

In all honesty …… I have carried a tremendous amount of guilt for that failure.

I’ve grown in my Christ following life, to know how exactly I’ve been created,

and how different my peers and I thought that I should be.

In all honesty ….. I’m a feeler and a thinker, but lean more to the feeling side.

Pink Bible

I said all that to say this;

This morning I listened to the audio version of the Bible, Romans chapter 12, on line -cool British accent – Four times, not MEMORIZING much. I know what it says, I’ve been reading it for years, but to say it exactly – not so much.

Here for your perusal, is the “Deb Version” if you will, each verse, translated for ease of reading and understanding;

I think it came out well, and are really words I can live by.

v. 1 Present your body

v. 2 Renew your mind, transform it

v. 3 Think of yourself as God does

v.4 You do you. Your own calling.

v.5 Together we make a complete body, we need each other

v.6 Prophesy (In your own measure)

v.7 Serve. Teach.

v.8 Exhort. Contribute. Lead. Show mercy.

v.9 Love well. Hate evil.

v.10 Show honor (Out do each other in this)

v.11 Don’t be lazy. Serve enthusiastically.

v.12 Rejoice and pray, no matter what

v.13 Give and be kind

v.14 Bless the mean ones

v.15 YooHoo with those that YooHoo, and BooHoo with those that BooHoo

v.16 Live peacefully. Be nice to everyone.

v.17 Let God sort it out – You Be Nice!

v.18 Do what you can to be at peace

v.19 God’s got this.

v.20 Feed your enemy. Give him a drink. He’ll wonder what you’re up to.

v.21 Don’t let evil take over – Use the authority inside you to overcome

Simple enough? Yep.

In all honesty …… If you are at all like me, you won’t memorize this either, but you will remember some of the concepts better than the actual verses.

Now, if you are not at all like me, and need things straight up, linear, and the way they should/must/ought to be; I’ve placed the original script at the end of this post.

I hope this has been helpful.

Go with how you are created! Be happy just doing you – No body does you better!

 

Romans 12 King James Version (KJV)

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:

So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;

Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;

Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.

Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;

13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.

14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

5 for 5 Brain Dump x 3

I’ve been gone for a while.

Honestly – Getting back to writing was a bit difficult.

I thought the best way to begin again, would be by doing the 5 for 5 Brain Dump.

Quite simply, it works.

If you don’t know what a Brain Dump is – You can go Here to Find Out.

5 for 5 prompt; I will speak of what is rumbling beneath my skin;

Our small group is studying a book by Louie Giglio called “Goliath Must Fall”.

Today in our small group, we talked about the fact that the world is constantly looking for conflict. It always seems to want to stir things up.

When all our hearts desire, is to have a little piece of peaceful real estate to call our own. A place where we can rest.

What causes the  notion to keep things stirred up? I don’t know, but can it be fear? Fear of what? Maybe fear of what we will find there in that quiet space? Fear that what we find there will be too much? Too much grief? Too much sickness? Too much pain? Too much sorrow? Too much unforgiveness? Too much lack of hope? Any or all of these things we may find in the quiet.

When we find that “Whatever” there, we have to make a choice. We can either bury it back up again or, we can choose to face it. Toe to toe. Face to face. Head to head. That, my loves, is a fearful thing. But I can tell you that in my experience, the more difficult choice, is by far the better choice. This choice, to face the fear, leads to freedom.

If you remember back in the days of cameras with film, then you know that once the film is exposed, it is ruined for further use. It cannot be rewound and used again.

Facing the fear of what is holding on to your soul, and seeing it for what it is, is like that film. It can’t be used against you again. (Unless you let it!)

Fear is like a mouse with a megaphone. It shouts and shouts, but only has the power you give to it.

I know I’m mixing my metaphors here, but I want you to understand.

Re-using the film, is an illusion, and the mouse? Well he holds no power whatsoever. We only need see his real size, and ignore his rants.

I’m so grateful for the time I get to spend in quiet solitude, having a chance to expose the film, and recognize the the size of that mouse, for it has made me truly free.