Tag Archive | Healing

Learning Curve

Covid 19 and the Election Cycle.

What I’ve been learning throughout this time isn’t what I expected. It’s not even really something I WANTED to know. I’ve been asking God what I’m missing.

Up until about late August, early September, I was having very few issues with the quarantine.

My husband and I are empty nesters. Blessedly, our family is healthy. The men in the family are “essential workers”. (I so dislike that term – Aren’t we all essential?)

Events were all cancelled, and being a dyed in the wool introvert, I enjoy staying home. The truth is, I could still get groceries, and do my interacting via Facebook or Zoom.

Our Grandson was with us for six weeks, and I was careful to use the time wisely. Reading. Writing. “Hanging out” with the grandson. When his job came open again in a town south of here, he moved back to where he could get there easily.

All of this time, like everyone else, I heard (whether I wanted to or not) the news feeds constantly touting all the negatives and stats about Covid. (Scare tactics anyone?)

Add to that, berating the current President. Every day. All day. Real. Imagined. Whatever.

I was able to ignore if for quite a while, and then began to feel a bit overwhelmed. People were learning to deal with Covid, and beginning to find their stride, and then (even more) negative press about the President;

The truth is, whether you LIKE a President or not, it is NEVER appropriate to do what has been done to him, by anyone. If we cannot respect the man, we need to respect the office.

That’s how I was raised, but apparently, we don’t need to be respectful any more. Just because we disagree, does not mean that we must hate one another, and wish for the others demise.

Most recently, the overwhelm has become so great, that I’ve distanced myself even further. People I know. People I love. People who claim to believe the same things I believe.

These people have begun to show a stripe of a different color. Not always. Not everyday. But every so often. At an increasing rate. I’ll read a post, or a retweet, or something from them that has so much venom that I cannot even believe I’m dealing with the same people.

So the overwhelm isn’t from fear, or isolation, or any of the things one would normally associate with overwhelm. It’s more like a broken heart. My heart is broken.

Broken because broken people still have broken hearts, even though most of the time they can hide them, they still exist.

I hesitate to even share this post, but I cannot stand the division, and I do not believe that arguing, or lamenting, publicly chastising ANYONE does ANY good at all.

Some people are indeed, in the middle of processing, but the continuous spewing of this venom, I believe only causes more division, heart ache and no healing whatsoever.

Focusing on letting the emotion flow THROUGH and AWAY can be most helpful.

So here I am, writing about a topic I don’t like, but posting it any way. Stating my case with all the humility I can muster; with a prayer.

Hoping to bring it to someone’s attention, knowing full well, that every person has different reasons for the feelings and misgivings they have; and a right to have them; and that process takes time.

I also know full well that I will be “Unfriended” by some who disagree. I’m not OK with that, but I get it. I can only really process my own self, and clean out my own house.

Be it known that I love you.

Be it known to you that you are in my prayers.

Be it known that I will help you if I can.

Be it known that I will respect you whatever you choose.

And that I’ll check in with you again after the election, in hopes of renewing our friendship in a deeper way.

1 Timothy 2:1-4 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Until next time ….

Hindsight 20/20 – #5 – The Orphan Heart

How do we make these steps of recognition, and quality choices that work for us?

We cannot blame others for, or refuse to look at, the darker parts of our hearts.

They are our responsibility.

But how you ask?

We read in post #4 that God’s word judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

So let me make a suggestion beginning there, where the thoughts and intents begin.

We are so unaware of our heart condition, that we can’t even know that the words, and deeds done to us, and around us in our past, have clogged up our arteries.

Not with physical crud (although this may be true) but with spiritual crud.

Sludge that pulls at us, and weighs us down with anger, and depression, and anxiety galore.

We can have problems with our bodies, and have them fixed.

After that we keep going, but if our heart stops, we’re done.

Let’s look at what the Word of God says about how our hearts SHOULD be;

Galatians 5:22-23 says this – 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control.

If these things are evident in our life, we begin to clear our our spiritual arteries.

Never mind clearing them all out at once.

No one can do that!

But how about picking out the one you see lacking the most in your life.

Here’s my example.

It’s where I started.

I started with love.

It was THE most glaring lack that I could see.

I was “Looking for love in all the wrong places”.

If I did not recognize love from someone, I could not learn how to do it myself, much less, get it right.

I must say that the wrong ways I learned, took a very long time to un-learn.

It was a vicious circle filled with all kinds of wrongness.

None of which fulfilled my need.

I then met Jesus.

I learned about how He loved me, even if if others did not, and even if I could not.

I learned how He loved me, in a way that was different than any other way that I had tried.

I began to study His word, to learn about the ways He loved me.

The change in my heart was not overnight, but with continued seeking, reading, and learning, I began to feel some of the darkness melt away.

Ezekiel 36:26 says – And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 

That old mindset tried every once in a while to creep back in and tell me how unlovable I was, and at that point I had to remember what I had learned.

The old attitudes in my heart certainly kept it as hard as it could be.

My heart needed to be hard to “protect” me, or so I believed.

That protection was a racket – and kept me imprisoned until I began to let that light shine in to the dark corners.

I had to repent in and of that darkness, and begin to practice new behaviors in accordance with my new found beliefs.

My thoughts, my words, and my deeds began ever so slowly to change.

I had to, and still do sometimes, have to actively remember that He knows me, and He loves me.

I placed the helpful verses He showed me at the end of this post.

Next I moved on to self control, and then to joy, which are both stories for a different time.

Taking on one thing at a time from this positive list, caused me to be able to see a great lessening in the list from the “flesh” mentioned in post #4.

Psalms 139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

My prayer is that you can let the love of God begin to flow into your heart as well.

A little at a time, or a lot at once.

The speed isn’t the issue, it’s the quality of the decision to do so.

Until next time …

Hindsight 20/20 – #4 – The Orphan Heart

Steps to help heal the orphan heart.

The first step that must be taken to heal the orphan heart, is to RECOGNIZE that we have one.

After recognition, we must make a quality choice to change our heart.

There are many different ways I am sure to make these recognitions, and choices.

I can only share with you the ones I have personally used.

My source of help came from many lists.

These lists I found, over the years, through Bible reading.

It was only when I went seeking to learn about my orphan heart that I began to connect all the dots.

Hebrews 4 says this;

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

What this means is that the word of God can be used to learn the absolute truth.

God sees it all, and like in the old days when cameras had film, once that film was exposed, it could never be used again.

Once my heart has been exposed to the word of God, if I pay attention, the past can never be used on me again.

The most obvious list, would be the Ten Commandments;

The Ten Commandments can be found in Exodus 20, and reads like this;

That looks pretty straight forward right?

Some other lists I found were equally as straight forward, and although not very appealing to my senses, I found them to be true, none the less.

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

This list was found in Galatians 5.

I can only say Ouch.

Now obviously, I (and probably you) am not guilty of all of these things, but I (and probably you) am guilty of at least some of these things.

Honestly, if you are guilty of them, it may, or may not be your fault.

Some of the things on this list are standard fare for the world we live in today.

Much has been unknowingly passed down from generation to generation, because of a lack of knowledge of what God requires.

Honor, respect, responsibility, in many cases, has never been taught.

Our hearts have grown up as orphans, without proper father training.

Here’s the thing; Now it’s been exposed to you, and you can begin to do something about it.

We cannot fix or change what was lacking in our former years, but we CAN fix it now.

It’s been exposed, and unless you let it, it cannot be used against you again.

But how can I make sure of that?

Well, here’s a list that you can literally live with, also found in Galatians 5;

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

I was, and am, so happy to know that there is provision already made for me to live a better life.

Next Wednesday, we’ll talk about how to make this work for us.

Until then, let’s spend a little time considering what needs to be exposed, and dealt with in our hearts, we don’t want to be orphans any more!

Until then …