Tag Archive | Emotions

Learning Curve

Covid 19 and the Election Cycle.

What I’ve been learning throughout this time isn’t what I expected. It’s not even really something I WANTED to know. I’ve been asking God what I’m missing.

Up until about late August, early September, I was having very few issues with the quarantine.

My husband and I are empty nesters. Blessedly, our family is healthy. The men in the family are “essential workers”. (I so dislike that term – Aren’t we all essential?)

Events were all cancelled, and being a dyed in the wool introvert, I enjoy staying home. The truth is, I could still get groceries, and do my interacting via Facebook or Zoom.

Our Grandson was with us for six weeks, and I was careful to use the time wisely. Reading. Writing. “Hanging out” with the grandson. When his job came open again in a town south of here, he moved back to where he could get there easily.

All of this time, like everyone else, I heard (whether I wanted to or not) the news feeds constantly touting all the negatives and stats about Covid. (Scare tactics anyone?)

Add to that, berating the current President. Every day. All day. Real. Imagined. Whatever.

I was able to ignore if for quite a while, and then began to feel a bit overwhelmed. People were learning to deal with Covid, and beginning to find their stride, and then (even more) negative press about the President;

The truth is, whether you LIKE a President or not, it is NEVER appropriate to do what has been done to him, by anyone. If we cannot respect the man, we need to respect the office.

That’s how I was raised, but apparently, we don’t need to be respectful any more. Just because we disagree, does not mean that we must hate one another, and wish for the others demise.

Most recently, the overwhelm has become so great, that I’ve distanced myself even further. People I know. People I love. People who claim to believe the same things I believe.

These people have begun to show a stripe of a different color. Not always. Not everyday. But every so often. At an increasing rate. I’ll read a post, or a retweet, or something from them that has so much venom that I cannot even believe I’m dealing with the same people.

So the overwhelm isn’t from fear, or isolation, or any of the things one would normally associate with overwhelm. It’s more like a broken heart. My heart is broken.

Broken because broken people still have broken hearts, even though most of the time they can hide them, they still exist.

I hesitate to even share this post, but I cannot stand the division, and I do not believe that arguing, or lamenting, publicly chastising ANYONE does ANY good at all.

Some people are indeed, in the middle of processing, but the continuous spewing of this venom, I believe only causes more division, heart ache and no healing whatsoever.

Focusing on letting the emotion flow THROUGH and AWAY can be most helpful.

So here I am, writing about a topic I don’t like, but posting it any way. Stating my case with all the humility I can muster; with a prayer.

Hoping to bring it to someone’s attention, knowing full well, that every person has different reasons for the feelings and misgivings they have; and a right to have them; and that process takes time.

I also know full well that I will be “Unfriended” by some who disagree. I’m not OK with that, but I get it. I can only really process my own self, and clean out my own house.

Be it known that I love you.

Be it known to you that you are in my prayers.

Be it known that I will help you if I can.

Be it known that I will respect you whatever you choose.

And that I’ll check in with you again after the election, in hopes of renewing our friendship in a deeper way.

1 Timothy 2:1-4 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Until next time ….

The Language of Heaven

Recently, I have been not spending as much time on Facebook as I used to. Not because I don’t like it. I do. It’s cool to see what people are up to.

But lately I’ve been constraining myself to posts from my closest family and friends, and a few pages of culled information from those I trust. I have a couple of group pages that I really enjoy. But scrolling, just for scrolling, I’m afraid I’m out.

There is a huge reason why this is so. Allow me to explain. If you have read many of my posts at all, you know how very non confrontational I am. The introvert in me was not immediately bothered by a worldwide quarantine.

However, the differing opinions on how to handle it, people making their dissenting views known in the most obnoxious of ways, and the cancellation of life in general, for months, when the original deal was to be maybe a month. No one knows for sure, but instead of discussing the issues, battle lines have been drawn, and then, are continuously being moved!

Add to that, the current political climate, oy vey! Politics, especially at election time, brings out the worst in people. “Battle lines being drawn, nobody’s right, if every bodies wrong.”

And finally, even with some of those that are near and dear to me, a conversation cannot be had without hurt feelings, and alas, name calling, and unceremonious un-friending.

I’ve truthfully been trying to hear every side of every story. I know that this rubs against the grain in most people. It’s tough to listen when you believe in something different.

In so doing, you may or may not learn from a different view point. At the very least, you’ll be able to see why they think what they do.

We’re all so different. It has been a difficult time. I still love those whom I love. I cannot however immerse myself in the negatives day after day, hour after hour, without becoming cynical, and highly unhappy with my own self.

I believe that our negative thoughts can be transformed. I believe it because many of my own thoughts have been transformed – and I cannot go back.

If you are still reading this far in, then I trust I’ve hit a chord. Following are some thoughts on transformation. These quotes have given me new perspective on my thinking, and on how to renew it.

As stated earlier, it HAS been a difficult time, but step by step, promise by promise, line by line, I am FULLY at peace. After all that hard work on my inner self, it is my duty, to not back slide, or lapse into old negative thinking. (An old mentor of mine called it “Stinkin’ Thinkin”)

I’ve also included a link to a teaching that I heard several years ago, if you want to dig a little deeper.

All following quotes by Graham Cooke

  • If the problem is that big, think how big the promise is. Every problem comes with a promise, and a provision.
  • Your circumstances are not the problem. Your PERCEPTION of the circumstances is the problem.
  • Stop crying out for rescue. Cry out instead for majesty, God’s supremacy, and sovereignty.
  • We need the mindset of the spirit. Life and peace.
  • As He is, so are we in this world. Romans 12:2 (ESV) tells us; Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Negativity should not be our language if we are followers of Christ. We can exchange all of our negatives for the positives found in Him. Gifts of the Spirit they are called.

They can be found in Galatians 5:18-23. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, (rage culture) rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. (We are witnessing so much of this at this time!) I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

If you would like the entire teaching, you can follow this link

The Language of Heaven – Graham Cooke⇽ (April 2014)

Please comment here, or message me if you have questions, or would like to further discuss this topic.

And you. You whom I love. If you’ve read this far, know that I miss you.

Until next time …

Raw and Real #4 – Introvert

Many people, most in fact, have a misconception of what that is, as did I.

 I think that the definition of the word introvert has changed over the years, due to more study on the personality traits, types, and temperaments of people.

Introvert, Dear posted a really nice article → Introvert, Dear – This is for all the quiet ones.  if you care to read in depth on this misconception.

Here is the quick definition from that article;

“The definition of an introvert is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments. Introverts tend to feel drained after socializing and regain their energy by spending time alone. This is largely because introverts’ brains respond to dopamine differently than extroverts’ brains. In other words, if you’re an introvert, you were likely born that way.”

In this post, I spoke about spending a lot of time alone.

That was never really a problem until I started school, and was “required” to work and play well with others.

As I grew through the elementary school years, and on into the upper grades, this became a real problem.

My lack of social skills, and inappropriate responses to others, either drove them away, or caused them to bully me.

Unfortunately, the second thing, bullying, was the one most of them chose.

Here is a post from 9.5.2011 that describes my life at that time. →Sticks and Stones.

With this “Cycle” that followed through to my adulthood, I was the one deemed “Trouble”.

I was the one who would have to learn to deal with it, or watch it repeated in my children.

I spent many years as a new mom, attending church.

Church where I perceived all the “Perfect” little moms, and their “Perfect” little families, all seated in “Perfect” little rows.

While I sat “Perfectly” alone in the pew with my children. (I had no idea that those peoples little lives were just as “Perfect” as mine was!)

Contrary to what you might think, although I did feel lonely at times, and although there were difficult days, being wired as an introvert, it was not difficult for me to keep going.

This led me to my own private search for the truth about myself.

What I learned here over the course of several years, was that it all began with God;

The One who created me.

The One who loved me.

The One who was watching over me, even when I could not see Him.

That time was used to learn just what the Word of God said; about me, about God, about my past; and about my future!

God provided me with a little gem, a little jewel.

This treasure was a little book, that started me on a new path of thinking.

A beauty of a book called →Thin Places – a memoir by Mary E. DeMuth

She helped me to see and discover the ways that God was with me for my entire life.

He was aware of my “Trauma and drama”, and He wanted to use it for good.

He even wanted to use my “Trouble” to help others through the fogginess of their past.

Her words, mixed with His, flowed over me like warm honey, and soothed my soul.

This book was the first in a line of books that I “Discovered”, that changed the way I viewed myself. (A list follows)

These books caused me to understand how I am wired, and why it was vitally important that I stop longing to be like someone else.

Once I found out HOW I was wired, then I could determine what was really normal for me, and then I could begin to appreciate who I really was.

If you click on any of the links below, you will be taken to a post on my blog, posted especially for that book.

This list is long, and seems impending.

Understand that I began this excavation of my life a long time ago.

Everyone has their own speed, but if you are serious about figuring yourself out, and making the most of your life story – it’s a really good place to begin.

Next time I’ll be talking about the Little girl. 6 weeks – 6 months.

I hope you’ll be able to join me.

Until then …