Tag Archive | heart

My Genre

Today I did something I’ve never thought to do before.

I Googled my “Genre”.

I wasn’t really quite sure I “Had” a genre to tell the truth.

My passion is to lead people into seeing the value of what I call “Quietude”.

As an introvert, what this means to me is to be able to have a place to recharge my internal batteries after dealing with, as Susan Cain says; “A world that can’t stop talking”.

If you’ve been here a while, you’ve no doubt seen the little “Quiet” videos made out of the photos I take.

Little vignettes, if you will, designed to calm down the insides, help regain strength, and be ready to do it all again.

I found out so much more today! Here is what I’ll share with you for this post, and then I’ll continue with more later;

  • Where This Idea Began
  • New Information
  • Truth or Lies?
  • Slow Start
  • Onward Toward Healing

It really began way at the beginning of what I call the cave days. I was reading scripture that I had always read. Then, as it happens, some words jumped off the page, followed by a question –

ESV Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

TLB Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.

How can I possibly do this? How could I possibly change the way I’ve thought all of m life?

Now I believe in the word of God pretty literally, so that means that if He is asking me to do something, then there must be a way to do it, right?

So I just “happened” to see an episode of something, 700 Club maybe? TBN? The episode I watched had Dr. Caroline Leaf on as a guest. Her teaching was all about re-wiring your brain, re-training it, Transforming it. This is my own simple way of putting it.

You can follow the link for the language that she uses. It involves things like neurons, synapses, and neurotransmitters. So if you’re into that, here’s your link; https://drleaf.com/about/

I had a strong feeling that by being stiller, or quieter, or silent, that I would be able to put some of this Bible idea into my real life.

I have to remind myself these days, that THOSE DAYS, were not at all easy. It was a real struggle for me to actually DO what she was saying.

But I believed Dr. Caroline’s research, and I most certainly believed that if it were not possible, that God would never require it of me.

Enter that tenacity – read hard headed-ness – that I was born with, and one more very important question; Does God tell the truth, or is He a liar?

Well I don’t believe He can lie, so I held on to that.

I started out small. Really small. Two minutes. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes was an extra successful time slot!

I sat with my journal and my Bible on my lap. Coffee by my side. And the goal of renewing my mind to the way that God had planned it from the beginning.

During that time, I believe God allowed me to work through some pretty tragic, destructive things that had been in my life ever since I could remember. Cycles that kept on returning, began to slow down, and melt away. Healing began to come to my mind, and forgiveness to my heart.

Nowadays, in the back ground, there will either be quiet ambient music or nothing at all, and healing is STILL happening.

So now you know where this journey I am on began.

Next time I’ll delve a little deeper into this process, and even some NEW things that I’m learning.

Please join me if you just want to detect a way out of your cave. This world (thinks it) has us trapped, but our minds can be renewed!

See you next time!

Stoic or Otherwise?

Recently, I’ve heard several comments concerning stoicism.

I don’t know the entire teaching and belief system of stoicism, but I know that my grand pa was called a stoic by my mom. Her meaning was that he did not ever show his emotions about anything.

Now that is a definition of stoicism, but not the only one.

What are the tenets of stoicism?

According to Wikipedia, there are four.

Logic, Physics, Ethics, Emotions.

The Stoics classified these different forms of virtue under four broad headings, the four cardinal virtues: Wisdom or Prudence: Includes excellent deliberation, good judgment, perspective, good sense. Justice or Fairness: Includes good-heartedness, benevolence, public service, fair dealing. Training. Daily reflection. Philosophy for a Stoic is an active process of constant practice and self-reminder.

The only reference I was aware of when concerning grand pa, (that is the one I’ll discuss here) was that he had his emotions under wraps. (Kind of like a Vulcan – always in control of their emotions)

I’m looking at stoicism like this. A person needs to be in control of their emotions when other things are needed; like say, caring for a family or going to work.

This is not to say that there should be no emotions, but that they can be stored away until the time is appropriate to deal with them.  Stoics do not, NOT feel things. Quite the opposite. They feel them very fully.

A trouble that may arise is that storing them away for a better time, may delay them too long, or one may forget to deal with them. Like the elephant in the room, they end up taking up more and more space, leaving no room for the process of healing to take place.

So what does one do?

What if we actually SCHEDULED a certain time to face off with that elephant, then when the time is up, back to our regular life.

When someone dear to me was going through a divorce, she knew that during the day time hours, she was committed to her schooling, and after that, her kids needed her to be present for them.

She was definitely going through some severe trauma. This woman stored her emotions away daily, until everyone was in bed.

Then she laid in her bed and cried, and processed, sometimes alone, sometimes on the phone with a friend, but always after her daily duties were finished.

She did not deny her feelings, or their validity. She simply knew that left unchecked they would overtake her life, and she would not be able to heal.

Stoicism – control of her emotions. It served her well, and over time, she became whole again.

Since beginning to write this post on emotional stoicism, something happened that upset me, and took my feelings back to a time when my emotions controlled me.

Fortunately over time, with many opportunities to practice, I was able to recognize the issue before it was able to take hold. I was able to rant about it in my journal, and move on.

It became a perfect example of being able to release others, to be just how they are. They will do and say what they always do and say. Will I let their actions spoil my whole day even after they’ve walked away?

Now what happened did hurt. It was valid to have feelings about it.

The ability to not hang on to it and let it fester, is so peace giving.

No need hang on to it and let it cause a deeper wound, that is more difficult to heal.

I used a process talked about earlier with my dear one.

You can hurt. You can be mad.

But truth? You have more to do than wallow in it.

Set a timer. Write a post. Rant. Scream. Yell. Cry. Be done.

You have so much more to do than to mope. Take care of your emotions. Have them. Feel them. Do them. Walk away from them.

I’ve shared more than once on my blogs about David in the Bible. (1 Samuel 30) In his story, he got way more than is feelings hurt. His city was destroyed and his family taken.

In short form; here is the process he followed;

David wept. (He showed emotion)

David found strength in the Lord his God. (He took time to regain his energy)

David inquired of the Lord. (He asked God what to do next)

David pursued his enemy. (He faced the problem – made a choice to not be hampered by it any more)

God restored everything. (David’s life became whole again)

  • Set aside time to care for yourself
  • Find out what step to take next to get on with your life
  • Take care that the same thing won’t happen again
  • Be excited to see your new future

How do you handle your situations and setbacks?

Do you use stoic principals, or do you have a different way?

If you can add to my limited knowledge of the topic of stoicism, feel free to do so in the comments, or via message.

See you next time!

How Long Will I be Haunted?

It is concert season.

Orchestra and band concerts.

Chorus concerts of every ilk.

Solos and group performances.

All concerts. All the time.

So many that they often run together.

The thing that makes them special is WHO is performing.

In my case, all seven of my grandchildren love music of some sort.

They know that when they look out, they will see their Gramma and Grampa there.

A few weeks back, at one of the many concerts we attended, I heard a song that haunts me still.

I had never heard it before, so when I got home I looked it up.

It turns out it came from ‘Les Miserables; which I have never seen. (I know, I know)

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.

The song about a group of friends that sit at a corner table, and consider their futures. There is talk of a revolution and a new born world.

As I said, I never saw the show, so I don’t know why, but their future never came.

Unfathomable grief, when he lives, but his friends die.

So what is it that haunted me?

Well the survivors grief of course; the remembering of a future now, suddenly, gone.

But perhaps even more than that, for me, is the realization of how much time that can be wasted.

How many ideas and dreams I can talk myself out of.

I can’t. I won’t. I don’t want to. I’m too tired. I too something…..

It has spurred me on a bit.

To not let those ideas and dreams in my head go to waste.

Many times, I have missed a window. A time made expressly for one certain thing.

Fortunately, my dreamer friends are still alive and in tact, and we encourage each other whenever possible.

But tomorrow, as the song tells us, is not promised to any one.

So we need to stay awake. Stay on task. Consider the future, and run toward it.

Survivors grief would be horrible for certain, but can you imagine how much worse it would be if you had not really lived your life?

If you have not pursued your dreams?

If you survive, then don’t waste the sacrifice of those that went before.

They helped create your ideas. They even helped you dream your dreams.

Continue to carry the flame, even if you’re wanting to give up.

Your Mindset is Critical!

You know that old saying; When it rains, it pours?

This is said to be a proverb meaning that misfortunes or difficult situations tend to follow each other in rapid succession or to arrive all at the same time.

Bad times, like migraines, seem to come together in clusters.

So what in the world can we do to survive these times?

I’ll let you know MY thoughts on the matter, and then, I’d love to hear YOURS!

I was reading a transcript of a conference my husband and I attended back in 2017, and came across the following quote;

“Opposition attaches itself to what you do not remove. Blessings attach themselves to what you respond to in obedience.”

Graham Cooke – Aglow International Global Conference – Richmond, VA – 2017

So what is it exactly, that I should be removing?

I firmly believe that what we allow to roll around in our heads effects the outcome of our daily lives, or at least how we respond to those things.

So. I must DECLARE WAR on the NEGATIVITY that accumulates around me.

I may not be able to erase all of that negativity, but I can surely control how I respond to it!

I can think of several ways to begin this process; but it does begin with a decision.

A quality decision that I will no longer allow the negativity of the world or my own circumstances to weigh me down.

To be certain; This can be, has been, and will be, a daily process. To keep the quality of that decision.

So here are some ideas;

  • Make that decision, old habits die hard, make that decision again!
  • Determine how much news you want to take in. Personally, my news only comes from highly trusted sources – and then only in tiny pieces. Try adding some funny videos instead.
  • Consider who you are hanging around with. – Debbie Downer? Negative Nelly? Long ago, I had to restrict my visits with a really good friend, until she got her negativity under control. Find someone who makes your heart smile.
  • What are you reading? News, news, news? Drama, drama, drama? These things have a different effect on different individuals. Find out for yourself, and if they weigh you down – Quit them! There is so much variety out there! Try something a bit more light hearted.
  • Take some quiet time for yourself – Every Day – three minutes or thirty, whatever you can get away with. Literal quiet, or an activity that calms your heart and mind.
  • Stop complaining! Yes. It is so negative. I remember telling God that if I didn’t complain, I wouldn’t have anything to say. Well then………? I had to tell myself to “Just. Stop. Talking.” Until I got it under control.
  • I find that reading the Holy Bible in my favorite version the ESV, has a super calming effect on my thought life. Life changing actually. Giving my brain positive input instead of negative. I have friends who prefer the poetry route – whatever works for you!

I am positive there are as many ways to come against negativity as there are people.

I would love it if you would share your ideas with me either in the comments or in a message. Whatever works for you.

So back to the quote; “Opposition attaches itself to what you don’t remove, blessings attach to what you respond to in obedience.” (In this case, he is describing obedience to scripture)

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The Holy Bible – English Standard Version – BibleGateway.com

What will you remove?

What will you add in it’s place?

How will you respond?

Your mindset is critical!

A Bump in the Road

This week heavily on my mind, is the fact that I have made some decisions, or a least I thought I made some decisions.

Decisions that pertain to the things I want to share, here, and anywhere else I’d like to share it.

I find myself out here again, on a bumpy road. Trying to traverse the landscape with a minimum of bumpage. My husband is mortified when I make up words, but bumpage is a good one right? I’m positive you know what I mean.

You’re moving right along, everything lined up straight, and BAM! A cloud of confusion, or a bank of brain fog, too many ideas to count all descend on you at once, or none at all. It’s a moment when you realize that the decision(s) you made made not be as clear as you thought they were. Without a clear purpose, without a clear focus, moving forward is depressingly difficult.

I’m not sure what I can figure it all out here, but allow me to use this space to look back and see how I got here, so that I can figure out, again, which way to go to get around these bumps.

My husband and I discuss often, the fact that in the age we live in, we have taught our children WHAT to think, and not HOW to think. When I was raised, I have no clear recollection of either. I remember in school, finishing my work, and then wandering around the classroom, disturbing the other kids. Instead of training me to THINK of something else to do, I would get whatever the punishment of the day was, and a lot of cross words about how I would never amount to much.

So suffice to say, it is no big surprise that the “Soundtrack of my life” was full of confusion and fog and a cacophony of noises.  When you receive these messages day in and day out, you begin to believe them

I remember always thinking, “I’m going to do this.” I’m going to do that.” All the while doing nothing because I did not know how to sort those thoughts out, or how to put them all together to make sense.

Several years back, every time I heard “I’m going to do this.” in my head, then right after that, I would hear “just stop talking about it and do it.” I began to discern the difference between saying and doing. It sounds simple enough, but let’s face it, when you weren’t taught to think, it is a difficult task.

Sorting those things out fell into a few different categories;

  • What people had said to/about me
    • What I thought about me
  • What people had done to me
    • What I thought because people did what people do
  • Is it possible to change these things?
  • Finally, what did God think of me?
    • How was I created by Him to be?

As you might imagine, these things took some doing to over come. It took a great deal of introspection, and internal dialogue. Separating the negative dialogue from the positive. Changing that “Soundtrack” to something that I could really live with, and then, begin to help others to walk the same way.

It is something that needs to be revisited from time to time. I’m fairly certain that it’s that time again for me.

Bumps in the road are inevitable.

How we navigate them determines our success or failure.

If you have read this far, then I imagine that this is something that plagues your mind as well.

Might I suggest, that you take just a few moments for yourself. To be quiet. To begin to sort all that has been stored inside of you for so long? I know that my “Quietude” lately has been must less than what I require. So it is time to begin again.

Quieting the heart that beats inside of us, is the best place to start.

I’ve left a video here to get you started.

I would love to hear your comments, and any other ideas that have helped you to become clear and focused. We’ll have some here on this blog, and help each other out.

How about it? You in?

 

 

My Own Wholeness

When I stand up for my wholeness I ……..

This writing is from my 5 for 5 Brain Dump writing on July 13. If you don’t know what 5 for 5 Brain Dump is, you can can click here to find out more about it.

Here it is. As it was written. Unedited. Hopefully, you can glean some wisdom from it. If you do, feel free to let me know in the comments.

When I stand up for my wholeness, some times others do not understand. Some think I’m being cranky. RBF. I think it could be because they have been accustomed to me standing up for THEIR wholeness. One of my  nick names is “Best Cheer Leader”. I have seen recently, it’s always been for someone else.

When I stand up for my (own) wholeness, I feel calm. I feel peaceful. I feel more energized and less anxious. When I stand up for my wholeness, I can complete tasks.

I have been, and am grateful for this revelation. Wholeness. What a great feeling.

So that is the Brain Dump. It is the first thing out of my brain after hearing the prompt.

I’ve had time now to consider that prompt in depth. I’ve had time now to put myself first much more of the time.

I find that when I take a few moments here and there to put these principals into practice, the moments I spend for myself and others are much more productive.

How about it?

Do you take a moment to be kind to yourself, to be your own best cheerleader?

You could begin here.

For another perspective on this topic, visit here.