Tag Archive | mind

My Genre

Today I did something I’ve never thought to do before.

I Googled my “Genre”.

I wasn’t really quite sure I “Had” a genre to tell the truth.

My passion is to lead people into seeing the value of what I call “Quietude”.

As an introvert, what this means to me is to be able to have a place to recharge my internal batteries after dealing with, as Susan Cain says; “A world that can’t stop talking”.

If you’ve been here a while, you’ve no doubt seen the little “Quiet” videos made out of the photos I take.

Little vignettes, if you will, designed to calm down the insides, help regain strength, and be ready to do it all again.

I found out so much more today! Here is what I’ll share with you for this post, and then I’ll continue with more later;

  • Where This Idea Began
  • New Information
  • Truth or Lies?
  • Slow Start
  • Onward Toward Healing

It really began way at the beginning of what I call the cave days. I was reading scripture that I had always read. Then, as it happens, some words jumped off the page, followed by a question –

ESV Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

TLB Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.

How can I possibly do this? How could I possibly change the way I’ve thought all of m life?

Now I believe in the word of God pretty literally, so that means that if He is asking me to do something, then there must be a way to do it, right?

So I just “happened” to see an episode of something, 700 Club maybe? TBN? The episode I watched had Dr. Caroline Leaf on as a guest. Her teaching was all about re-wiring your brain, re-training it, Transforming it. This is my own simple way of putting it.

You can follow the link for the language that she uses. It involves things like neurons, synapses, and neurotransmitters. So if you’re into that, here’s your link; https://drleaf.com/about/

I had a strong feeling that by being stiller, or quieter, or silent, that I would be able to put some of this Bible idea into my real life.

I have to remind myself these days, that THOSE DAYS, were not at all easy. It was a real struggle for me to actually DO what she was saying.

But I believed Dr. Caroline’s research, and I most certainly believed that if it were not possible, that God would never require it of me.

Enter that tenacity – read hard headed-ness – that I was born with, and one more very important question; Does God tell the truth, or is He a liar?

Well I don’t believe He can lie, so I held on to that.

I started out small. Really small. Two minutes. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes was an extra successful time slot!

I sat with my journal and my Bible on my lap. Coffee by my side. And the goal of renewing my mind to the way that God had planned it from the beginning.

During that time, I believe God allowed me to work through some pretty tragic, destructive things that had been in my life ever since I could remember. Cycles that kept on returning, began to slow down, and melt away. Healing began to come to my mind, and forgiveness to my heart.

Nowadays, in the back ground, there will either be quiet ambient music or nothing at all, and healing is STILL happening.

So now you know where this journey I am on began.

Next time I’ll delve a little deeper into this process, and even some NEW things that I’m learning.

Please join me if you just want to detect a way out of your cave. This world (thinks it) has us trapped, but our minds can be renewed!

See you next time!

Stoic or Otherwise?

Recently, I’ve heard several comments concerning stoicism.

I don’t know the entire teaching and belief system of stoicism, but I know that my grand pa was called a stoic by my mom. Her meaning was that he did not ever show his emotions about anything.

Now that is a definition of stoicism, but not the only one.

What are the tenets of stoicism?

According to Wikipedia, there are four.

Logic, Physics, Ethics, Emotions.

The Stoics classified these different forms of virtue under four broad headings, the four cardinal virtues: Wisdom or Prudence: Includes excellent deliberation, good judgment, perspective, good sense. Justice or Fairness: Includes good-heartedness, benevolence, public service, fair dealing. Training. Daily reflection. Philosophy for a Stoic is an active process of constant practice and self-reminder.

The only reference I was aware of when concerning grand pa, (that is the one I’ll discuss here) was that he had his emotions under wraps. (Kind of like a Vulcan – always in control of their emotions)

I’m looking at stoicism like this. A person needs to be in control of their emotions when other things are needed; like say, caring for a family or going to work.

This is not to say that there should be no emotions, but that they can be stored away until the time is appropriate to deal with them.  Stoics do not, NOT feel things. Quite the opposite. They feel them very fully.

A trouble that may arise is that storing them away for a better time, may delay them too long, or one may forget to deal with them. Like the elephant in the room, they end up taking up more and more space, leaving no room for the process of healing to take place.

So what does one do?

What if we actually SCHEDULED a certain time to face off with that elephant, then when the time is up, back to our regular life.

When someone dear to me was going through a divorce, she knew that during the day time hours, she was committed to her schooling, and after that, her kids needed her to be present for them.

She was definitely going through some severe trauma. This woman stored her emotions away daily, until everyone was in bed.

Then she laid in her bed and cried, and processed, sometimes alone, sometimes on the phone with a friend, but always after her daily duties were finished.

She did not deny her feelings, or their validity. She simply knew that left unchecked they would overtake her life, and she would not be able to heal.

Stoicism – control of her emotions. It served her well, and over time, she became whole again.

Since beginning to write this post on emotional stoicism, something happened that upset me, and took my feelings back to a time when my emotions controlled me.

Fortunately over time, with many opportunities to practice, I was able to recognize the issue before it was able to take hold. I was able to rant about it in my journal, and move on.

It became a perfect example of being able to release others, to be just how they are. They will do and say what they always do and say. Will I let their actions spoil my whole day even after they’ve walked away?

Now what happened did hurt. It was valid to have feelings about it.

The ability to not hang on to it and let it fester, is so peace giving.

No need hang on to it and let it cause a deeper wound, that is more difficult to heal.

I used a process talked about earlier with my dear one.

You can hurt. You can be mad.

But truth? You have more to do than wallow in it.

Set a timer. Write a post. Rant. Scream. Yell. Cry. Be done.

You have so much more to do than to mope. Take care of your emotions. Have them. Feel them. Do them. Walk away from them.

I’ve shared more than once on my blogs about David in the Bible. (1 Samuel 30) In his story, he got way more than is feelings hurt. His city was destroyed and his family taken.

In short form; here is the process he followed;

David wept. (He showed emotion)

David found strength in the Lord his God. (He took time to regain his energy)

David inquired of the Lord. (He asked God what to do next)

David pursued his enemy. (He faced the problem – made a choice to not be hampered by it any more)

God restored everything. (David’s life became whole again)

  • Set aside time to care for yourself
  • Find out what step to take next to get on with your life
  • Take care that the same thing won’t happen again
  • Be excited to see your new future

How do you handle your situations and setbacks?

Do you use stoic principals, or do you have a different way?

If you can add to my limited knowledge of the topic of stoicism, feel free to do so in the comments, or via message.

See you next time!

Stormy Weather

It’s been raining for days.

Rain in April is great. Not so much all through April AND May.

The joke here in the mid-west is some variation of “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes, it will change.”

Or “9:00 AM – Winter, 11:00 AM, – Spring, 1:00 PM – Summer, 3:00 PM – Fall.”

We have often used the furnace and the air conditioning in the same day.

An annoyance to be sure, but relatively harmless.

This constant rain has some long lasting repercussions.

On the the small side – mowing grass is really difficult.

On the larger, more impactful side, the farmers cannot get to their fields. The impact will be far reaching, and most likely the costs of everything will rise.

How does any of this connect with “Quiet” or “Quietude” or “Quiescence”?

The answer is simple. Not easy. But simple.

Weather is among a long list of things that we have absolutely no control over.

If I cannot control it, then what must I do to get through it without bringing myself and those around me down?

I have found that when I take the time for quiet. Five minutes. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes. Whatever I can, then my mind can calm down.

When my mind is no longer running amok, then I can think rationally about what steps need to be taken next.

If we leave our minds to their own devices, they can get crazy in a hurry, and it can take a really long time to come back from all that trauma and drama.

So take a moment, or four, with me, and gather your thoughts. Calm your mind.

Be able to be constructively helpful, even when times are tough.

You may even be able to enjoy some flowers in the midst of the storm.

100 Days of Something….

There many kinds of challenges all over the internet.

Recently a friend told me abut a 100 day challenge for writing poetry.

Her encouragement/challenge to me was to do 100 days of …. something. Anything.

Well they don’t call them “Challenge”s for no reason.

With every valid reason; like a very full calendar,

And every excuse that I can come up with; like I just don’t have enough brain cells,

There is one thing I can say for sure.

That is; No matter how much you think you have to say, and/or share,

There is much more to it than just saying you will do it.

I am learning the art of the scheduled post.

You know, the one that is out there before you are?

Well, on that day any way.

You still have need of being there well before the date.

Mass amounts of ideas and writing that seem to float away as soon as I sit to write.

It’s the age old problem right? Experienced by writers far better than myself. 

But here I am, as one of my favorite bloggers says, “Punching the d__ keys.”

And for my current and future followers, I’ll keep on punching.

My challenge to you ; Will keep keep punching too?

We can do it together; you and I. 

Will you receive this challenge?

Can we help each other to keep the challenge alive!

Spirit Filled Personality

 

As we saw in the previous posts, each personality type has its own strengths and weaknesses.

The neatest thing to know is that God made you just the way you are.

He did not make a mistake.  He wanted you to be uniquely you.  He wanted your special kind of voice in the world.

In His creating of you, He had a certain something in mind for you to do.  He made you for a certain something that only you can accomplish.

Consider with me for just one moment that your special voice is not being heard in the world because of an enemy. 

Consider an enemy of such great malevolence and hatred for your soul that his goal from your very beginning was to silence you. Please consider also, that God’s word says that it is really very true.

Wait a minute!  If this is so, then I don’t stand a chance!  Au contraire!  Quite the opposite!

Beloved, I have one more thing for you to consider.

The God, who made you, gave you a way to rewrite your story.  This God of the universe sent you a love letter, and in this love letter, He told you all you need to know about life and godliness. 

In other words, He’s given you all you need to know about how to make your own special voice heard in the midst of all the others.

Let’s just take one step today.  Shall we? 

In the previous posts about Personality Types, there was a short list of four basic types of personality.  Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholy and Phlegmatic.

Look at the separate traits of each and define which types you mostly find yourself in.  There will probably be two that are the most prominent.

With those two in mind, take a peek at the lists with your two most prominent types.

Look first at the strengths.  See how amazing you are?  No other person is made the exact same way.  You are unique.

Now look at your weaknesses.  See how amazing you still are?  No other person is made the exact same way.  You are unique.

Here’s where the fun begins.  Choose the two weaknesses you dislike the most.  Choose even one if two is too many. 

Choose the smallest one if you need to.  Just choose something.

Now go to Galatians 5:22-23. (NIV)  Or read it here.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.

Example;

My major is the choleric.  My chart says that I like to be in charge and am work oriented.  These are not bad things unless taken to the extreme.

In my “taking charge” I can unintentionally run right over the quieter types like the melancholy or phlegmatic, inflicting unintentional damage on them.

Since I like to work, I can actually be doing a task from morning to night without stopping or paying attention to any other duties I may have in my life.

Since I enjoy my work, I can be an aggravation to my family.  They like to chat; they need clean clothes and at times really appreciate being fed.  All of these things are overlooked by me when I’m on a task.

Since I enjoy plans that work, and I know that 99% of the time my plans do work, I can be in charge and be pretty harsh about it. 

Other people don’t care if it works or not if the leader runs ruff-shod over them. 

They tend to run, or at the least, just fade away slowly, leaving me upset to be finishing up alone.

To deal with the control issues, I chose forbearance and gentleness from the list in Galatians.  I chose self-control for my work issues.  Then I prayed.

Lord,

Today I see that I’ve not been too patient or gentle with the people around me.

Please help me to notice what I am doing, and to take time to remember that the way they do the task will still get the task done.

Help me to have self-control, and know when to stop.  Everything does not have to be finished today, but I can have another go at it tomorrow.

I so want the “Fruits of the Spirit” to be evident in my life.

Thank you for your help Lord.

Amen.

 

Studies have proven that it takes twenty one days to break a habit. (These numbers change depending on the study, but the principle is the same)  I believe some take longer. 

I have prayed this prayer or one like it many times.  The change in me began slowly, but has picked up momentum, and my weaknesses are easier to spot (since they do try to return) and easier to stop, now more than ever.

I found after this prayer that I’m actually pretty introverted – I can be both – tied to my work, or in charge.

You will “know in your knower” when you are making progress, and you will also know when it is time to go to another item in the list, and work on it.

Just don’t give up!  Keep on going!

Galatians 6:9   (NIV)

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Thanks for joining me in this little series. I hope you have found it helpful in finding how just how you’re wired.

If you would like to ask questions or have further discussions on this topic, feel free to comment, or contact me via IM.

All Your Ducks in a Row?

Thanks for coming back!

Are all your ducks in a row? You could be

Choleric

Strengths

Emotions;

Born leader

Dynamic and active

Compulsive need for change

Must correct wrongs

Strong willed and decisive

Unemotional

Not easily discouraged

Independent and self sufficient

Exudes confidence

Can run anything

As a Parent;

Exerts sound leadership

Establishes goals

Motivates family into action

Knows the right answer

Organizes household

At work;

Goal oriented

Sees the whole picture

Organizes well

Seeks practical solutions

Move quickly into action

Delegates work

Insists on production

Makes the goal

Stimulates activity

Thrives on opposition

As a Friend;

Has little need for friends

Will work for group activity

Will lead and organize

Is usually right

Excels in emergencies

Weakness;

Tend toward being workaholics

They need to learn to relax and not feel guilty about it

They need to be aware that sometimes they pressure others into their way of doing things

They need to plan leisure activity

Have the need to be in control

Helps;

They need to learn to respond to other leadership

They need to be careful not to look down on “The Dummies”

They need to learn to stop manipulating

Don’t know how to handle people

They need to practice patience

They need to keep their advice until it is asked for

They need to tone down their approach

They need to stop arguing and causing trouble

Are right, but unpopular

They need to let someone else be right

They need to learn to apologize

They need to admit to their faults

Do you see yourself?

If not,

stay tuned for more on other personality strengths and weaknesses!

I Did It Backwards

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Do you know, really? 

Or are you like many others, and just feel a lot of confusion about that?

Not only do you not know who you are, but you can’t help but listen when others try and convince you who THEY think you should be.

I did it backwards.  It took forty plus years to get here.  I’d love it if I could save you all that time and trauma by helping you to start in the right order.

I spent a lifetime trying to figure out what I was and where I was.  What I didn’t realize is that I first had to know WHO I was.

So won’t you join me for the next five posts, where we’ll look at some different personality types, and how they apply to you.

Finding out about these was a super helpful step for me.

I know exactly who I am; I also know that I keep growing and changing into a more fully developed me.

I invite you to come along for Cliffs Notes version look at your personality.

See you next time.