Tag Archive | mind

ADD and Quietude

Can they survive together?

This topic is huge. So huge in fact, in order to understand it totally, one would have to research and study a good long time to begin to see all of the nuances.

Let me be clear; I am no expert. I am no professional.

What I am, is an adult female who was diagnosed in adulthood with adult onset ADD.

“I thought I Was Stupid” is a really good article on the struggle of women with ADD/ADHD.

And growing up, I DID think I was stupid, when the truth was quite the opposite. I would finish my work early, then wander around the room and disturb those who were still working.

I never learned to study, so what happened was that at that very early age, when the neuron pathways were still being connected, without proper focus, I was self teaching my mind to wander.

Those connections were being made, but not exactly correctly.

This is not to say that everyone begins the same way. There are so many different scenarios that could happen. I simply believe that this is how it began with me.

Back in the day, no one was talking about this. The research just wasn’t there. We didn’t give little Johnny, or little Debbie extra work to do.

We did not guide them in the direction of their gifting. We did not “Play to their strength.”

We told them to sit down, sit still, behave, be quiet or write 500 times on the chalk board “I will stay in my seat during class.” Stop being a brat.

Consequently, at least in my case, my brain went everywhere, like monkeys in a tree, or a fart in a skillet. Everywhere except where it was supposed to be.

I would doodle. I would hum. I would whistle. I would tap my feet.

What a stupid thing – to not be able to focus. There must be something terribly wrong with me.

This is turning into a lot of words, but I need you to understand what was going on, not for me, but for yourself!

Some boys my age were diagnosed with ADD, rarely, but girls? Almost never.

“At the end of the day, if you’re just dealing with ADD, that’s great,” Solden said. “But most women—because they weren’t diagnosed as children, because they didn’t have hyperactivity or were smart—grew up absorbing a lot of wounds and shame. These women are often twice exceptional. They have incredible strengths and are really smart and creative, but they have these struggles that nobody understands, including them.” Sari Solden

Read – They had to work twice as hard!

Please read HERE for more on ADD/ADHD.

So began my obsession with Quietude – Quiescence – Quiet.

Like I said, I was diagnosed as an adult.

Here is my back story, at least in part.

Finding the doctor that I found was simply a miracle. All others before her told me I was depressed. Told me I was anxious. Told me I was something. You’ll get over it. Well I’d spent my entire life this way, so I probably was not going to just get over it.

She wanted to do a different kind of test. One for adult onset ADD.

I took a very long test followed by some in depth counseling with her, and the findings were conclusive.

This indeed was my issue; Mild enough to not be dangerous, but strong enough to keep things from settling in my brain. I did correct her about the “adult onset” part. She agreed I was most likely right.

She prescribed a low dose, medication that worked by “improving the way parts of the brain communicate with each other.”

Enter Quiet Time!

Over some time, a year or so, I saw much improvement.

I was able to actually train myself to sit quietly in my chair by the window, and calm my thoughts, and actually follow through on finding what God had in store for my life.

My doctor and I decided that since the medication had showed me how it felt to string two thoughts together, what calm(er) felt like and what it felt like to focus, perhaps I could wean off of the medication.

I did so successfully.

I had made some Quiet time rituals. I follow them to this day;

  • Same time every day
  • “Do Not Disturb” settings on all devices
  • Bible or other devotional type book
  • Quiet music or silence
  • Journal/note pad for catching random thoughts
  • Strict determination to make it work
  • Some days it is just quiet. No music. No book. No paper. Just quiet.

To close, I would like to say that EVERY day may not be successful, but I can tell you that when I began the art of “Quietude” ANY day that there was a space for quiet was a success!

Nowadays, I do have to keep track of things closely.

I still forget sometimes that “Quiet” is what I need.

On those days, like I’ve said here on this blog before – two minutes – six minutes -ten – Whatever I can do to make it work.

Introvert, Extrovert – Does not matter. Every one can benefit from a few minutes of quietness in their day.

I must tell you, YOU can overcome the issues keeping you from a quiet space.

The effort that you pour into this endevour will pay you back a thousand times over.

Because of this prolonged practice, I believe that moments that SHOULD stress me out, don’t. I believe it’s because of accumulated Quiet time.

Thanks for reading.

See you next time!

Toxic Thoughts

Toxic Thinking Although I did not buy the product, I DID buy the idea, and so went on a journey of my own to detoxify my mind.

“75% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life.”

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Toxic Thoughts

What are Toxic Thoughts, and how do I get rid of them?

“Consciously control your thought life and start to detox your brain!” Medical research increasingly points to the fact that thinking and consciously controlling your thought life is one of the best ways, if not the best way of detoxing your brain. It allows you to get rid of those toxic thoughts and emotions that can consume and control your mind.

On Dr. Leaf’s About page, she gives several examples of questions to consider when beginning to get rid of toxic thoughts. Feel free to stop now, and visit the link to see her questions.

Welcome back.

Now that you’ve seen the questions, you may be wondering just exactly how they will be helpful in your search for “Quietude”?

Here’s the thing; When ever these thoughts are present in our minds, our minds become like a playground. Those thoughts are like the littles all running and jumping around! They are raucous and noisy. Some are ill mannered and disrespectful.

At any rate, it is near impossible to contain all of their activity without a plan.

So with the help of one of Dr. Leaf’s questions, we can begin.

Here is a sample of beginning to control at least one of those thought patterns.

The question I chose for this example was #5;

How much is speculation taking out of your day?

Back in the beginning, before I began to transform/renew my mind, I really had no idea just how much time and energy I spent running ideas, thoughts, speculations through there.

Now I’m not dissing the thought part, what I am dissing, is all the time and energy I spent mulling over the things I either A. Didn’t have the answer for or B. That I had no control over.

When I learned to recognize those thoughts, and then refused to give them time, it actually freed up a lot of space in my head. (And energy in my body!)

It did not happen overnight, but over time, with practice, and I might add, the Word of God, my mind (at least in the area of worrying) became a little more quiet.

I did find that reading a Proverb from the Bible every single day, helped me to isolate some of those random thoughts and concerns. (Thirty one days in a month, thirty one Proverbs – neat how that works!)

Proverbs 19:21 (ESV) Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Now choose another question.

Note; Working on too many of these questions at the same time may not be helpful, but one or two I found to be very doable.

After a bit, you will no doubt come up with questions of your own to consider. Everyone is different.

At first it may seem counterproductive to add more questions to your already noisy mind.

However, it has been my experience, that once the answers are reached, then the mind actually will begin to quiet itself down, because it is no longer trying to figure out a hundred things a minute!

Little by little, toxic thinking shrinks and shrinks, and thinking that produces and brings life takes its place.

Join me next time as we take a brief look at the effect that ADD/ADHD and the like have on building up our quiet time.

Quiet vs. Silence

Hello again “Quietude” seekers.

Welcome back!

In this post you will find;

  • Outtakes from and article in the HuffPost
  • Results of an interesting study
  • Some practical application – Do you think they are right?
  • Links/credits at the end

The article from HuffPost states that a World Health Organization report called noise pollution a “modern plague“. The article says that;

  • Silence relieves stress and tension.
  • Silence replenishes our mental resources
  • In silence, we can tap into our imagination
  • Getting quiet can regenerate brain cells

This, put another way, is the same thing as transforming, or renewing your mind, and stated in Romans 12:2 where it says; Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

“Unnecessary noise is the most cruel absence of care that can be inflicted on sick or well.”

Florence Nightingale – Founder of modern nursing.

“Silence first began to appear in scientific research as a control or baseline, against which scientists compare the effects of noise or music. Researchers have mainly studied it by accident, as physician Luciano Bernardi did in a 2006 study of the physiological effects of music. “We didn’t think about the effect of silence,” he says. “That was not meant to be studied specifically.” (See link below to continue reading the study.)

This research began by playing quiet music, then “Bernardi and his colleagues discovered that randomly inserted stretches of silence also had a drastic effect, but in the opposite direction. In fact, two-minute silent pauses proved far more relaxing than either “relaxing” music or a longer silence played before the experiment started.”

” The blank pauses that Bernardi considered irrelevant, in other words, became the most interesting object of study. Silence seemed to be heightened by contrasts, maybe because it gave test subjects a release from careful attention. “Perhaps the arousal is something that concentrates the mind in one direction, so that when there is nothing more arousing, then you have deeper relaxation,” he says. “

I found this fascinating – I hope you did too!

“All unhappiness of men, arises from one simple fact; they cannot sit quietly in their chamber.”

Blaise Pascal – French mathematician,physicist, inventor, write, theologian.

For the final part of this post, I’ve linked a six minute video without music, just nature sights and sounds.

Won’t you take some time, two minutes, four minutes, six?

See if it has an effect on you.

Can you share what you experienced?

Silent Time

Here are the links and credits for what I have used here;

Bible Gateway

HuffPost Article

Two Minute Research

Next time; Toxic Thoughts

Hope to see you then!

All That to Say…

The whole point of the last post, “My Genre”, was to begin to give an explanation to the reason why I think having regular times of “Quietude” is important.

Here’s the thing. (I just found out it was a thing…)

I’ve been on this trek for at close to twenty years (give or take) and my INSIDES know why I do it.

When I sat down to explain it to you, I found that I didn’t know how to explain it.

So I’ve spent a couple of days, reading what I Googled, and every other thing that popped into my head.

Everything from renewing the mind to what causes it to need renewal.

What that has done, is bring back to mind many things I learned along the way, validated my thinking, and … Showed me some new advances in study about my “Genre”.

Today’s post will have two points;

  • Reasons we need Quiet
  • A new fact or two

As I state in many of my “Quiet” videos, “The world we live in, will not give us a quiet place to be. We have to find that place for ourselves.”

(You can find these videos on YouTube @Deborah SPC)

The world is constantly clamoring for our attention, wearing us so thin, that our thought processes, our emotions, and even our health, begin to pay a steep price for it.

We pay for it in sleeplessness. We pay for it in our relationships. We pay for it in addiction. We pay for it with our mental health. We pay for it in our bodies. We look for that place, and it does not exist in our sight.

Unless we create it.

Our days are busy, we (I) need time to prepare for whatever is coming my way. If I have prepared, things go much smoother.

According to scripture, even Jesus needed to prepare; to slip away and be quiet; (KJV) Mark 1:35 And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.

And from what I’ve been reading, scientists have found out that silence (instead of simple quiet) can even be better for you in some circumstances.

Silence gives our brains a chance to internalize and evaluate the information that we are receiving daily. In other words, your processors have room to work. They process.

“All profound things and emotions of things are preceded and attended by silence.”

Herman Melville

Silence also relieves stress and tension, and cognitive tasks are performed better after there has been silence.

Without all the sensory input of a noisy space, our minds can actually recover.

There is so much to say and some very interesting studies I’d like to share.

Some of it is “old” news and some of it newer.

Join me next time for a study I’ll share and even an opportunity to practice it and see how it works.

See you then!

My Genre

Today I did something I’ve never thought to do before.

I Googled my “Genre”.

I wasn’t really quite sure I “Had” a genre to tell the truth.

My passion is to lead people into seeing the value of what I call “Quietude”.

As an introvert, what this means to me is to be able to have a place to recharge my internal batteries after dealing with, as Susan Cain says; “A world that can’t stop talking”.

If you’ve been here a while, you’ve no doubt seen the little “Quiet” videos made out of the photos I take.

Little vignettes, if you will, designed to calm down the insides, help regain strength, and be ready to do it all again.

I found out so much more today! Here is what I’ll share with you for this post, and then I’ll continue with more later;

  • Where This Idea Began
  • New Information
  • Truth or Lies?
  • Slow Start
  • Onward Toward Healing

It really began way at the beginning of what I call the cave days. I was reading scripture that I had always read. Then, as it happens, some words jumped off the page, followed by a question –

ESV Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

TLB Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.

How can I possibly do this? How could I possibly change the way I’ve thought all of m life?

Now I believe in the word of God pretty literally, so that means that if He is asking me to do something, then there must be a way to do it, right?

So I just “happened” to see an episode of something, 700 Club maybe? TBN? The episode I watched had Dr. Caroline Leaf on as a guest. Her teaching was all about re-wiring your brain, re-training it, Transforming it. This is my own simple way of putting it.

You can follow the link for the language that she uses. It involves things like neurons, synapses, and neurotransmitters. So if you’re into that, here’s your link; https://drleaf.com/about/

I had a strong feeling that by being stiller, or quieter, or silent, that I would be able to put some of this Bible idea into my real life.

I have to remind myself these days, that THOSE DAYS, were not at all easy. It was a real struggle for me to actually DO what she was saying.

But I believed Dr. Caroline’s research, and I most certainly believed that if it were not possible, that God would never require it of me.

Enter that tenacity – read hard headed-ness – that I was born with, and one more very important question; Does God tell the truth, or is He a liar?

Well I don’t believe He can lie, so I held on to that.

I started out small. Really small. Two minutes. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes was an extra successful time slot!

I sat with my journal and my Bible on my lap. Coffee by my side. And the goal of renewing my mind to the way that God had planned it from the beginning.

During that time, I believe God allowed me to work through some pretty tragic, destructive things that had been in my life ever since I could remember. Cycles that kept on returning, began to slow down, and melt away. Healing began to come to my mind, and forgiveness to my heart.

Nowadays, in the back ground, there will either be quiet ambient music or nothing at all, and healing is STILL happening.

So now you know where this journey I am on began.

Next time I’ll delve a little deeper into this process, and even some NEW things that I’m learning.

Please join me if you just want to detect a way out of your cave. This world (thinks it) has us trapped, but our minds can be renewed!

See you next time!

Stoic or Otherwise?

Recently, I’ve heard several comments concerning stoicism.

I don’t know the entire teaching and belief system of stoicism, but I know that my grand pa was called a stoic by my mom. Her meaning was that he did not ever show his emotions about anything.

Now that is a definition of stoicism, but not the only one.

What are the tenets of stoicism?

According to Wikipedia, there are four.

Logic, Physics, Ethics, Emotions.

The Stoics classified these different forms of virtue under four broad headings, the four cardinal virtues: Wisdom or Prudence: Includes excellent deliberation, good judgment, perspective, good sense. Justice or Fairness: Includes good-heartedness, benevolence, public service, fair dealing. Training. Daily reflection. Philosophy for a Stoic is an active process of constant practice and self-reminder.

The only reference I was aware of when concerning grand pa, (that is the one I’ll discuss here) was that he had his emotions under wraps. (Kind of like a Vulcan – always in control of their emotions)

I’m looking at stoicism like this. A person needs to be in control of their emotions when other things are needed; like say, caring for a family or going to work.

This is not to say that there should be no emotions, but that they can be stored away until the time is appropriate to deal with them.  Stoics do not, NOT feel things. Quite the opposite. They feel them very fully.

A trouble that may arise is that storing them away for a better time, may delay them too long, or one may forget to deal with them. Like the elephant in the room, they end up taking up more and more space, leaving no room for the process of healing to take place.

So what does one do?

What if we actually SCHEDULED a certain time to face off with that elephant, then when the time is up, back to our regular life.

When someone dear to me was going through a divorce, she knew that during the day time hours, she was committed to her schooling, and after that, her kids needed her to be present for them.

She was definitely going through some severe trauma. This woman stored her emotions away daily, until everyone was in bed.

Then she laid in her bed and cried, and processed, sometimes alone, sometimes on the phone with a friend, but always after her daily duties were finished.

She did not deny her feelings, or their validity. She simply knew that left unchecked they would overtake her life, and she would not be able to heal.

Stoicism – control of her emotions. It served her well, and over time, she became whole again.

Since beginning to write this post on emotional stoicism, something happened that upset me, and took my feelings back to a time when my emotions controlled me.

Fortunately over time, with many opportunities to practice, I was able to recognize the issue before it was able to take hold. I was able to rant about it in my journal, and move on.

It became a perfect example of being able to release others, to be just how they are. They will do and say what they always do and say. Will I let their actions spoil my whole day even after they’ve walked away?

Now what happened did hurt. It was valid to have feelings about it.

The ability to not hang on to it and let it fester, is so peace giving.

No need hang on to it and let it cause a deeper wound, that is more difficult to heal.

I used a process talked about earlier with my dear one.

You can hurt. You can be mad.

But truth? You have more to do than wallow in it.

Set a timer. Write a post. Rant. Scream. Yell. Cry. Be done.

You have so much more to do than to mope. Take care of your emotions. Have them. Feel them. Do them. Walk away from them.

I’ve shared more than once on my blogs about David in the Bible. (1 Samuel 30) In his story, he got way more than is feelings hurt. His city was destroyed and his family taken.

In short form; here is the process he followed;

David wept. (He showed emotion)

David found strength in the Lord his God. (He took time to regain his energy)

David inquired of the Lord. (He asked God what to do next)

David pursued his enemy. (He faced the problem – made a choice to not be hampered by it any more)

God restored everything. (David’s life became whole again)

  • Set aside time to care for yourself
  • Find out what step to take next to get on with your life
  • Take care that the same thing won’t happen again
  • Be excited to see your new future

How do you handle your situations and setbacks?

Do you use stoic principals, or do you have a different way?

If you can add to my limited knowledge of the topic of stoicism, feel free to do so in the comments, or via message.

See you next time!

Stormy Weather

It’s been raining for days.

Rain in April is great. Not so much all through April AND May.

The joke here in the mid-west is some variation of “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes, it will change.”

Or “9:00 AM – Winter, 11:00 AM, – Spring, 1:00 PM – Summer, 3:00 PM – Fall.”

We have often used the furnace and the air conditioning in the same day.

An annoyance to be sure, but relatively harmless.

This constant rain has some long lasting repercussions.

On the the small side – mowing grass is really difficult.

On the larger, more impactful side, the farmers cannot get to their fields. The impact will be far reaching, and most likely the costs of everything will rise.

How does any of this connect with “Quiet” or “Quietude” or “Quiescence”?

The answer is simple. Not easy. But simple.

Weather is among a long list of things that we have absolutely no control over.

If I cannot control it, then what must I do to get through it without bringing myself and those around me down?

I have found that when I take the time for quiet. Five minutes. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes. Whatever I can, then my mind can calm down.

When my mind is no longer running amok, then I can think rationally about what steps need to be taken next.

If we leave our minds to their own devices, they can get crazy in a hurry, and it can take a really long time to come back from all that trauma and drama.

So take a moment, or four, with me, and gather your thoughts. Calm your mind.

Be able to be constructively helpful, even when times are tough.

You may even be able to enjoy some flowers in the midst of the storm.