Tag Archive | Cave Dweller

Raw and Real #8 – Too Much Process

Last time we talked about excavation.

Excavation and processing whatever we happen to find in our past.

I shared with you how in my excavation, I found much heart ache, most of it inflicted by others, but a goodly part of it, inflicted by my very own thoughts and behaviors.

I believe that the way I was wired, the fact that I didn’t mind being alone, probably saved me from even bigger problems.

I fully believe that God was there for me, hating what was happening, but allowing it for a reason, and protecting my heart of hearts.

That reason was to be of help to someone else at a later time.

It may even be you.

I was not without pain, in fact the internal pain was immense, but I always had a sense of “something”, God? being nearby, even though I was not yet aware of His name.

As an adult, I so appreciate that protection, and the fact that I have been able to “be renewed in the spirit of my mind” (Ephesians 4:23), it is a different kind of peace.

Peace without the weight of the past.

 As my mind was being renewed, I learned to be at deep peace while I was alone.

 In John 14:27 it says “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

So now, here we get to the “Over processing” part.

I began not just enjoying my alone time, but now I had the ability to indulge myself in it.

I enjoyed it so much that I began to demand it in every part of my life.

I chose always to stay home.

I chose not to be around others, unless I absolutely had to, because you know, people are messy.

I had reached a point in the process where I was;

Just. So. Content.

This was fine for a time.

A good long time actually.

But there is a →down side to quiet.←(Read more here)

 I then began to feel a heaviness, the very thing I had worked so hard to get rid of!

So I ended up praying and asking God how to fix it.

He reminded me of something that Brene’ Brown said “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”

What I learned here was the fact that just because I worked on my emotions, and had them under control, does not mean I never have to do it again.

It is very important to feel the bad as well as the good.

So did I have to do some more “inside work” to do?

Another thing I remembered hearing was that; even good things can become destructive when carried to the extreme.

These ideas being brought back to my memory, made me realize that in all of my quiet “processing”, I was making myself deaf to all of the other voices that I could be learning from.

I was hearing “God’s voice”, but many times God’s voice sounds just like mine.

So I had to be really sure I knew what He’s was thinking!

If I am getting input from like minded individuals, or even from those I disagree with, I can have the ability to think and compare.

Critical thinking gets dulled when you’re always alone.

Big changes were on the horizon.

It was slow and steady, but I began to allow some people around me back into my life.

Did I mention it was SLOW?

Very slow, and very thoughtful.

I began allowing people back into my circle.

They did not even necessarily agree with my world view, but they did have open minds, and listening ears, and I might add, positive attitudes, with a willingness to learn.

We have taught each other so much.

I said all that, to say this;

Process well.

Process as long as you need to, but be aware when it is time to venture back out again.

You can always come back to your →cave to rest.← (read more here )

The Garden Tomb

Join me next time for Raw and Real #9 -Write. 

Until then….

Directionally challenged

My Grandpa had this hat.

He was such a card!

“He watched where everyone else was going, and went the other way.”

Mike Rowe

“Half the miles on my truck are from turning around and going the other way.”

Frank Iliff

It’s all fun and games until we’re talking about eternity.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:1


And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him. Hebrews 9:27-28 (ESV)

We get a choice. We get to choose which way we go.

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. Proverbs 9:8-10 (ESV)

I have chosen the scenic route for most of my life.

Yesterday I heard someone say “Give us the hard way and the easy way, and we’ll take the hard way every time.”

He was joking, but he certainly was making a good point.

And why not? The scenic route is also the most informative. (and challenging and difficult) but it is through that route that we learn what does and does not work, and how to go about life in a better way.

If we are a Jesus follower, it is during these times that we find out how strong we can be through Him, and just how close He walks with us if we choose to let Him.

My encouragement to you is this; when eternity is at stake, to choose wisely.

When the end is here, that choice is all that matters.

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 (ESV)

Until next time.

Make a Moment

What state do you find yourself in these days?

I don’t mean like the state of Iowa or California, or Indiana.

I mean in your heart and your mind.

Truthfully, I find my self in a state of holy dissatisfaction.

I call it holy because I believe it is God ordained.

At times, the only way I can be convinced to move forward!

Commercials do it all the time!

They convince us how dissatisfied we are with a given product on a given day, so that we will move on out and purchase their products.

Holy dissatisfaction = displeasure, discontent, disappointment, unhappiness, frustration.  

My previous post I wrote about Cave Dwelling.

This post is more about what pushes us into and/or out of that cave.

Don’t get me wrong.

Contact is fine, that leaving the cave.

But in truth, it isn’t always energizing, and sometimes it’s simply exhausting.

People can be loud.

People can be out of order.

People and be stinky and ill mannered.

(And maybe they think I am all of those things!)

People, like myself, are just trying to get back to their caves.

When it comes down to it, the reality is that people are not noticing the people and things around them that have nothing to do with their day, unless they happen to get in their way.

We’re all just trying to return to our cave dwellings.

We live all together, yet alone.

In other words, you really can get too much of a good thing.

Too much time presiding contentedly in our caves can indeed become excessive (or obsessive) to the point of being “too much of a good thing”.

It can turn us into self centered persons, who are really unappealing.

This condition I’ve found in myself has caused in me something I will call “Holy dissatisfaction“, here is an example;

-I have a favorite shirt. I wear it all the time. It starts out pristine. It becomes comfortable. After time it begins to break down. It becomes threadbare. It no longer serves its purpose, “dissatisfaction”, has been achieved, and the shirt must be replaced. I get to choose at this point whether to replace it or not. If I don’t, it will further disintegrate, causing sadness and possible regret for me not being able to make the change. If I venture out for a new shirt, I may find that there are others out there that I can enjoy just as much.-

Seeking out others can be loud, and messy, and exhausting; but isn’t that what we’re here to do? Reach out to others?

  • What if I see out and about in town today, and I manage to “get in your way”?
  • What if I greet you pleasantly instead of growling?
  • What if I can help you reach that item high on the shelf?
  • What if I let you in on that line of traffic, or buy your coffee in the drive thru?
  • What if I could give you just one good thing to smile about today?

It really wouldn’t cost me much of anything extra.

That would create a wonderful moment for each of us.

But I had to leave my “Cave” in order to make that happen.

So let me encourage you – Make a moment. Make two.

Heck, let’s make it a habit!

Making moments until next time.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. Matthew 18:20 (ESV)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21 (ESV)