I know I have considered the question over and over my entire lifetime.
I know that I had many aspirations; a teacher, a writer, a ballerina, a jockey, a barrel racer, a truck driver, a mom.
The list goes on, but I don’t recall ever being encouraged to be anything but a →“Good girl”.
When people are asked, “Who are you?” they will frequently answer with what they do.
Like the list above, it can vary from day to day.
But there came a time in my life when I found out that the answer to the question was very different.
I had been looking at it from through the wrong lenses.
The Holy Bible says in Galatians 4:6 (ESV) Because you are sons, God hassent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” (Abba = Daddy)
And Psalm 100:3 (ESV) says; Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
Then, there is my life verse, a life verse of many;
Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV) 13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully andwonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformedsubstance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
*We are His
*We are His sons
*We are created by Him
*We are fearfully and wonderfully made
*We are known by Him
This all sounds very different than the traditional answer we come up with.
Beginning to think of who we are in this manner takes some doing.
When I first began to change my answer, over and over, I had to remind myself that I was “a Kings kid”.
This thinking did not come readily, due to my personal history.
I had to learn that it wasn’t something I did, it was something I was.
It didn’t have anything to do with my job title, or even the events that occurred in my life.
It wasn’t connected to the guilt or the shame that tried to remain prevalent in my mind.
What it was, and still is, and forever will be,
is my relationship to God my Father.
Deuteronomy 31:8B He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
A quote from a friend of mine reminds me that “We are human beings, not human doings.”
Her quote, makes me want to BE with God.
It’s not what we do, or what has been done to us.
It’s about what we think of God.
This makes all the difference.
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.“
A. W. Tozer
I hope you’ll join me next time when we talk about; Process.
It has two abilities; it can put you in a place where you are stuck in the dark, or it can shine on that darkness, and give you a means to get into the light.
We get to choose.
So here I’ll do some inner work right out in the open.
Feel free to stick with me while I ruminate.
In my previous post, I listed three separate areas that are always on my mind, but somehow, there seems to be some cognitive dissonance going on.
Helping people isn’t clear enough.
*What are the two cognitions that aren’t fitting together? My desire to help people vs. my desire to stay at home with my own thoughts is clearly at odds with each other.
*What actions would I need to take to eliminate that dissonance? I need to MAKE time for others and observe people better for places where they can use help.
*Do I need to change any specific behaviors? Or do I need to change a belief or a mindset? Be more discerning.
Sometimes helping people is not only physical, as in helping them clean out a closet, paint a room , or move across town.
Sometimes it is simply sitting quietly with them while they take time to grieve or to try to figure things out.
Discernment and timing are most important here.
The belief I need to change is that in many cases, I feel like folks can work it out themselves, why would they need my help?
When likely, they are too afraid to or shy to ask for it.
How many times do we say “I don’t want to bother you but….?”
They probably do too.
*How important is it for me to resolve the dissonance? Resolving this dissonance is imperative.
Just writing isn’t enough.
*What are the two cognitions that aren’t fitting together? It is said by many, that to be a writer, you must write.
Writers write. That’s what they do.
Every day; I need to write every day.
Also, great writers read, a lot.
I go in cycles, even though I know that writing often, makes writing easier, and reading many different sources, whether you agree with what has been written, or not, causes your brain to be more creative, and more critical in its thinking, allows thoughts to flow more freely.
*What actions would I need to take to eliminate that dissonance? I have journals and documents full of junk.
Inside those tomes of junk though, there are jewels.
Abundance of joy portrayed, even atrocities forgiven.
I need to take more time to excavate them, and share the most helpful parts.
*Do I need to change any specific behaviors? Or do I need to change a mindset or belief? I believe my mindset to be sound, but my behaviors can get out of sync.
I am very good when I have a schedule; I have a schedule.
When cognitive dissonance shows up, my schedules go out the window. Laziness or fogginess then prevails.
One thing I have found, is that just because you have a schedule, doesn’t mean it is forever.
Recognizing when it becomes obsolete is a big thing.
When this happens, I need not delay – but change it!
Changing it up is most helpful. How about doing that instead of binge watching something on TV?
*How important is it for me to resolve the dissonance? One of my mentors, Sharon, tells a story of her driving passed a graveyard once, and having to pull over to the side of the road because she was weeping so hard. (She is not a crier!)
She prayed and asked why she was having this response, and the answer she heard was that she was weeping for all thegifts and talents that were buried there in that grave yard that had never been realized.
Well I’m not much of a crier either, but if I had the the sense of going to my grave without sharing all that my experiences have taught me, well, that would make me cry too.
Enjoying taking photos isn’t enough.
*What are the two cognitions that aren’t fitting together? I enjoy taking photos of natural things.
I love clouds, skies, sunrises, sunsets, rivers, and mountains. All of these have found their way into the view finder; on my phone.
I have a regular camera. I don’t know how to use it.
I’ve always been a watcher, so to speak, but when I started taking photos on my phone, I began to realize that I was looking are so much more than just clouds.
They are an expression of God’s love for me, and these things show me just how much he wants me to enjoy all that He has created.
These things show His power and His majesty.
*What actions would I need to take to eliminate that dissonance? I’ve printed out all the camera instructions so that they are easy to see.
Just like reading, I need to take the time to study the manual, and then actually do the work.
*Do I need to change any specific behaviors? Or do I need to change a mindset or belief? The biggest behavior is what I listed before, Schedule, rework that schedule. I need to schedule time for writing, schedule time for reading, schedule time for learning.
Then stick with it! (Practice what I preach!)
*How important is it for me to resolve the dissonance? It will be the difference between being successful, or being stagnant.
The first part of 2019, I did really well in my journal.
For the second half of the year, my blog posts have been very regular, even if the topics were super varied. (Maybe that is better?)
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