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How Long Will I be Haunted?

Apr26

It is concert season.

Orchestra and band concerts.

Chorus concerts of every ilk.

Solos and group performances.

All concerts. All the time.

So many that they often run together.

The thing that makes them special is WHO is performing.

In my case, all seven of my grandchildren love music of some sort.

They know that when they look out, they will see their Gramma and Grampa there.

A few weeks back, at one of the many concerts we attended, I heard a song that haunts me still.

I had never heard it before, so when I got home I looked it up.

It turns out it came from ‘Les Miserables; which I have never seen. (I know, I know)

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.

The song about a group of friends that sit at a corner table, and consider their futures. There is talk of a revolution and a new born world.

As I said, I never saw the show, so I don’t know why, but their future never came.

Unfathomable grief, when he lives, but his friends die.

So what is it that haunted me?

Well the survivors grief of course; the remembering of a future now, suddenly, gone.

But perhaps even more than that, for me, is the realization of how much time that can be wasted.

How many ideas and dreams I can talk myself out of.

I can’t. I won’t. I don’t want to. I’m too tired. I too something…..

It has spurred me on a bit.

To not let those ideas and dreams in my head go to waste.

Many times, I have missed a window. A time made expressly for one certain thing.

Fortunately, my dreamer friends are still alive and in tact, and we encourage each other whenever possible.

But tomorrow, as the song tells us, is not promised to any one.

So we need to stay awake. Stay on task. Consider the future, and run toward it.

Survivors grief would be horrible for certain, but can you imagine how much worse it would be if you had not really lived your life?

If you have not pursued your dreams?

If you survive, then don’t waste the sacrifice of those that went before.

They helped create your ideas. They even helped you dream your dreams.

Continue to carry the flame, even if you’re wanting to give up.

Your Mindset is Critical!

Apr24

You know that old saying; When it rains, it pours?

This is said to be a proverb meaning that misfortunes or difficult situations tend to follow each other in rapid succession or to arrive all at the same time.

Bad times, like migraines, seem to come together in clusters.

So what in the world can we do to survive these times?

I’ll let you know MY thoughts on the matter, and then, I’d love to hear YOURS!

I was reading a transcript of a conference my husband and I attended back in 2017, and came across the following quote;

“Opposition attaches itself to what you do not remove. Blessings attach themselves to what you respond to in obedience.”

Graham Cooke – Aglow International Global Conference – Richmond, VA – 2017

So what is it exactly, that I should be removing?

I firmly believe that what we allow to roll around in our heads effects the outcome of our daily lives, or at least how we respond to those things.

So. I must DECLARE WAR on the NEGATIVITY that accumulates around me.

I may not be able to erase all of that negativity, but I can surely control how I respond to it!

I can think of several ways to begin this process; but it does begin with a decision.

A quality decision that I will no longer allow the negativity of the world or my own circumstances to weigh me down.

To be certain; This can be, has been, and will be, a daily process. To keep the quality of that decision.

So here are some ideas;

  • Make that decision, old habits die hard, make that decision again!
  • Determine how much news you want to take in. Personally, my news only comes from highly trusted sources – and then only in tiny pieces. Try adding some funny videos instead.
  • Consider who you are hanging around with. – Debbie Downer? Negative Nelly? Long ago, I had to restrict my visits with a really good friend, until she got her negativity under control. Find someone who makes your heart smile.
  • What are you reading? News, news, news? Drama, drama, drama? These things have a different effect on different individuals. Find out for yourself, and if they weigh you down – Quit them! There is so much variety out there! Try something a bit more light hearted.
  • Take some quiet time for yourself – Every Day – three minutes or thirty, whatever you can get away with. Literal quiet, or an activity that calms your heart and mind.
  • Stop complaining! Yes. It is so negative. I remember telling God that if I didn’t complain, I wouldn’t have anything to say. Well then………? I had to tell myself to “Just. Stop. Talking.” Until I got it under control.
  • I find that reading the Holy Bible in my favorite version the ESV, has a super calming effect on my thought life. Life changing actually. Giving my brain positive input instead of negative. I have friends who prefer the poetry route – whatever works for you!

I am positive there are as many ways to come against negativity as there are people.

I would love it if you would share your ideas with me either in the comments or in a message. Whatever works for you.

So back to the quote; “Opposition attaches itself to what you don’t remove, blessings attach to what you respond to in obedience.” (In this case, he is describing obedience to scripture)

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The Holy Bible – English Standard Version – BibleGateway.com

What will you remove?

What will you add in it’s place?

How will you respond?

Your mindset is critical!

Quiet Amidst the Chaos

Apr18

April is spelled c-h-a-o-s in our house. Controlled chaos, but chaos none the less.

Rebuilding Together Muscatine County is the non-profit my husband began twelve years ago in our county.

In April, it is in full swing; rehabilitating homes for those in need. Ten projects in all just for this month. Changing the lives of folks who otherwise would have fallen through the cracks.

It is a wonderful kind of busy; but the grass still grows, and other household chores don’t just disappear.

Then we add the seven grandchildren and all of their Spring programs. Since we try to support them in all of their doings, there aren’t many blank spaces left on the calendar.

April is full of preparations for beginnings and endings; school years, graduations, summer sports, and conferences in other towns to plan for the future.

My April, is not unlike your April. The sub titles are just different.

So. How does one keep their thoughts straight, schedules in line, and their brains in tact?

I’m not sure how you handle all of this, but I can try to share a trick or five that I have found helpful.

Make a list

A week before, the night before, or the morning of. Having a list of things that need to be accomplished is most helpful. This will help you keep on track.

Referring to that list, keeps those things from jumbling around in your head, and lets you know when you’re veering off track. It helps to keep your mind quiet.

Use that note taking feature on your phone or other device. When you’re out and about, jot those reminders down so you won’t forget.

NEVER trust yourself when you say “Oh there’s no way I can forget that!”

Best use of your time

Each one of us have a time of day that works best for us. If I make appointments in the morning, then when I get back, it is a real fight to get my thinking turned on.

Do you do better with the thinking things in the morning, and the physical tasks later in the day? Before you eat? After you exercise? At midnight or at daybreak?

There are as many answers to that question as there are people. Find out the answer that best fits you, an stick with it.

Get help

It is not weakness to get help. In fact, it will make you stronger.

Each of us is simply better at different things.

Are you good at making that sign you need for your upcoming project, or does it take all of your strength and several days for this task?

Enlist the help of someone who loves doing it. Your strength will be saved, and your project will turn out better than you could have imagined.

Energy, frustration and brain cells saved. Leaving you with what you need for the next task.

Take time for yourself

I call this Quietude, or quiet time. Some call it Me Time. Call it whatever you like, but make time for it.

Quiet time energizes me, and helps my insides to remain calm no matter how busy the days become.

Some ideas for quiet time;

  • A soft chair, a clean window and a hot cup of coffee. This is my favorite.
  • Low light or natural light, either works
  • Soft instrumental music in the back ground.
  • Add a book to read, or a journal to write in.
  • Sometimes, only the first one. Taking time to just BE.

For some, the thought of all that silence is terrifying. They energize in an entirely different way.

Some ideas for them may be;

  • A short walk
  • A lively conversation with a friend
  • Group sports
  • Energetic music
  • Can you think of more? (Please share)

You may enjoy either one of these, or you may be somewhere in the middle. You might even be something totally different. (If that’s you, I’d love to know what it is that helps you.)

The point is – Take care of yourself! Take three minutes if that is all you have. Twenty if you’ve got it. More time if you can find it.

It may turn out to be several times a day in smaller increments. Whatever.

Know when to say when

If we allow ourselves to drain, we have nothing left and will only be miserable. We’ll feel guilt for all the things we do not have the energy to do.

If we take care of ourselves, then we can take care of others. We can then do all of our activities with a certain amount of peace inside.

When your mind and body say no more; you may have to make some difficult decisions. Decisions that will protect you later on.

Decide to give yourself time to recharge, whatever that looks like. Decide, and stick with it.

There may be fingers coming underneath that bathroom door – but take that time anyway – You’ll be happy that you did.

Photo from
http://www.ouralabamalife.com/christmas-eve-joy/