Yes you read it right. I’m feeling pretty snarky. No sense lying about it. So here it is. My snarky side, and by the end of this post, hopefully, some sort of a redress.
How many times do you find yourself in a spot that should be quiet, but the person who is in front of you feels the need to speak. Even when there is not one thing to say? You have no relationship. You do not desire a relationship. You cannot not maybe even remember their name. Uncomfortable. Awkward chit chat.
Being an introvert makes this even more uncomfortable. (More on that later) Trying to figure out answers to questions that are A. None of their business, or B. Answers when you don’t even know the answer yourself.
I have spoken with both my husband and my daughter about this. They are both the extroverts to my introvert. And guess what? They noticed it too! It bothers them the same way! So it’s not really an introvert/extrovert thing. It must be human being thing.
So after careful consideration, and much not small talk, here are some of my conclusions. Understand that these conclusions did not come over night, but are the results of many chosen conversations over years with people I wanted to talk to. I’ve even manged a couple of different conclusions while writing this post.
Firstly, As I’ve said previously, I believe people are afraid of what is in their head. (Even after so much work in this area, I’m still afraid sometimes too) Perhaps the soundtrack of their lives continuously tries to convince them of their unworthiness. Perhaps the sounds are so loud that they hear nothing else.
My own journey with quietude began with those voices. I heard them. Constantly. Then I read a scripture that said “My sheep hear my voice and they know me. The voice if another they will not follow”.
So who was that other voice? The one I would not follow? Scripture tells me it is the voice one who hates me, and will do anything to cause my demise.
I then found scripture that said that that one’s demise was certain. That he had already been defeated.
If that is the case, then why on earth am I still listening?
Habit. Just plain habit.
Plus the fact that it is so much easier to go with the flow, and not fight back against the noise.
I had to decide that a quiet thought life, a calmer spirit, and a mind that I could stand being alone with, were well worth the trouble. (While still not retreating to that quiet as a constant way out/excuse!)
I lunched with a friend recently, and admitted my snarky feelings about people, small talk, holidays, noise, all that. (Sometimes it just has to come out in a safe place!)
I’m slowly beginning to remember what I tell literally anyone who will listen; It’s all a choice! We get to choose how we feel, what we say, and how we fix our attitudes. Heck I just blogged about it Right here!
I am also beginning to wonder if I’ve been using my introversion as a convenient get away tactic. I may need to Review My Own Bubble; Yes I think it’s possible.
With a new year coming, no actually, a new decade (!) it could be a most perfect time to review and renew; you know, change things up!
As you can see from This post, this is not a new problem for me. It is ongoing; but I keep plugging away at it.
The idea is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
My husband and I traveled across the country once, in an ice storm, with a heavy load, at 30 miles an hour. It was tedious, but we kept moving forward, one mile at a time, and eventually made it to our destination.
But I digress, kind of.
Many steps have been taken this year.
I’m using my introversion less, stepping out more, and learning much along the way.
Remembering that this year has been happy, sad, active, emotional, energetic and exhausting.
I need to give myself, and those around me a little more latitude, and a lot less snark.
If you can relate, or want to share a way that you are, or have begun to overcome an issue like this – Please feel free to comment – I will NOT consider it small talk!