Tag Archive | Rage

Restoration

Have you experienced loss?

Have you experienced grief?

Have you experienced physical pain?

Have you experienced mental anguish?

Have these experiences seemed to come one right after the other, after the other, after the other?

Have these experiences caused brought you to a worn out, I give up sort of place?

I understand. Sometimes it rains. Other times it pours.

Allow me to share a story with you from the Bible.

It can be found in 1 Samuel 30.

The story is about part of King David’s life.

You might say, he was having a really bad day.

David and his men were coming home from battle to their home town of Ziklag. Upon arrival, they found that their town had been burnt to the ground, and their women, children, and every one else, great or small, were taken captive. David and his men wept bitterly. They wept until they had no more strength. The men were so distressed about the loss of their wives and daughters, that they wanted to stone David to death! But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God. David then inquired of the Lord his God about what he should do.  “Shall I pursue after this band? Shall I overtake them?” He answered him, “Pursue, for you shall surely overtake and shall surely rescue.” So David took four hundred of his men with him. They traveled light for expediency. David left two hundred behind to guard all of their stuff.  Along the way they found an Egyptian in the open country and brought him to David. And they gave him bread and he ate. They gave him water to drink. David asked him, “To whom do you belong? And where are you from?” He said, “I am a young man of Egypt, servant to an Amalekite, and my master left me behind because I fell sick three days ago. “We had burned Ziklag with fire.” And David said to him, “Will you take me down to this band?” And he said, “Swear to me by God that you will not kill me or deliver me into the hands of my master, and I will take you down to this band.” He led David to where these men were. They were all partying because of their great plunder. David and his men surrounded them, and overnight, killed them all. David recovered all of their belongings, all the wives and children. Everything that had been taken, in addition to the flocks and herds of the enemy. When they returned, David shared his “spoil” with all who went with him, and with all of those who stayed behind to guard their baggage.

Here are the steps David followed to regain power over his circumstances. These steps led him to total restoration.

 

  • David wept.

  • David found strength in the Lord his God.

  • David inquired of the Lord.

  • David pursued his enemy.

  • God restored everything.

 

Note: David HAD to depend on a power greater than himself.

He depended on the Lord his God to deliver him from his circumstances.

This “depending” takes a while to learn, but is well worth the effort.

Personally, the more I can depend on God, and less on me, the more peaceful and content I find myself, whether my experiences are good, or even if they are horrible. I’ve found that being in charge is not all it is cracked up to be.

How about it? Can you depend on someone other than yourself? Where do you find your strength when you are weeping? Where do your answers come from? Do you face your enemies/fears? Or do you hide away? Are you happy with the results?

All You Need is Love

Today I sit to write about something that’s been on my heart for at least a year, perhaps even a little longer.

Fear is the block.

Fear mostly in that as much as we say we don’t care what people think, we really do. It is our nature to want folks to agree with us.

This year, I have learned though that we can disagree, and not be nasty about it. So I can say what I have to say, and not be afraid of what you think.

I want to think. I want you to think.

When two men always agree, one of them is unnecessary.” William Wrigley Jr. (Quote Source)

All that said, to say this;

Last November we elected a new President, and here is what I’ve observed.

I thought the hate talk would die down after a bit, but alas, it has not.

I don’t care which side of the aisle people reside on, Democrat or Republican, liberal, conservative, Christian, Catholic, Buddhist or Muslim, male, female, or LBGTQ. I have observed a type of speech that quite frankly breaks my heart.

This speech comes from those I know, and those I don’t, virtual friends and people on the street.

Here it is; They want to love, love, love. Run the world with love. Be love. Speak love.

And the moment someone says the name of our President, the spirit of wrath, and vitriol comes out of their mouths, obscenities that I cannot personally utter. In the next sentence, they are back to love, love, love.

Some leaders even stand in front of microphones and say awful things about those who voted for him. Excuse me, but wouldn’t that be over half of the nation that you’re bad mouthing?

Can I just say, leave the man alone and let him do his job? We have all heard the viciousness of verbal attacks launched on the President and his family. Can we just stop?

I have not always agreed with our previous Presidents, even the ones I liked. I didn’t bad mouth them, I used my voice in the voting booth.

I seldom have these conversations due to the angst and anger that is spewed after they begin.

I won’t. I can’t. My heart can’t take it.

Perhaps we need to begin some civil dialogue? Or not.

I can always use my voice in the voting booth.

 

Where a Poem Belongs

“Where a poem belongs is here, in the warmth of the chest;
out in the world it dies of cold.” by Rumi

This was the introduction to a writing prompt today

The prompt itself was; What poem does your chest/breast/heart long for you to write. Give it voice now.

I am often surprised by the out come. 5 minutes. Who knew it would be enough to open up a heart?

I don’t know if it’s a poem just yet. It’s more a sense of belonging. Of safety. Of being right, even when you’re doing it wrong. YOU are right. The thing you did was not. You are free to express yourself without fear of someone’s critical retort.  As Rumi said, it belongs in your heart. In your breast. To stay warm. Not to feel the stabbing cold of … disappointment? No. Judgement. From ones who don’t understand. My poem will be of this. A safe place, where there is freedom to say what is real.

I am grateful I have found my hiding place. Peace now fills my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drama Queen



Have you ever thought of yourself as a “Drama Queen”?

Or has someone else called you that?

I don’t need a show of hands, so come on, tell yourself the truth.

Being a DQ is kind of cute.

When you’re five.


 

After that, it’s not too cute at all.


Have you ever just responded in tears to something, so totally over the top that you embarrassed yourself?


Worse yet, have you realized later that you didn’t even realize you were over the top?


How mortifying is that?


I’ve had seasons in my life where I could cry at stop signs.


During these times, there was great release for my heart.


A time where God did something in my heart, a touch of healing you might say.


I’ve also had seasons though, where tears would not come.


The wells seemed to be dried up.


Unfortunately, these times were more abundant in my life than the stop sign times.


The DQ was nowhere to be found.


The problem is that my heart was dried up too.


After long periods of dryness, I would erupt at the slightest provocation,


or no provocation at all.


The DQ would be back, but she took on a different form,


not so much with tears, as with anger and rage and bitterness.


This recalcitrant little girl stomps her feet and screams.


This little girl will not be denied her place on the stage.


There’s a problem though. This little girl isn’t five.


She is big enough now, that others better not get in her way.


Now, she should be mortified.


I had always seen my tears as a weakness.


God showed me recently that tears were actually a gift.


The hot, angry, mad tears, were actually a cleanser for my ravaged soul.


When those tears are allowed to flow, healing could begin.


No DQ required.


The ugly cry.


Just straight up, truthful, exhausting, healing, cleansing tears.


After that, I learned I was able to cry a quieter cry.


Tears of humility and repentance.


He is our God, and He is big enough to handle them.


In His hands they are truly a treasure.


Here’s the truth that God showed me on a particularly weepy day;


He will not waste our tears. He saves them in a bottle.


Why would He bother saving them, if they were useless?


Psalm 56:8 AMP ~ 8You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle–are they not in Your book?


Psalm 56:8 TLB ~ 8You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and preserved them in your bottle! You have recorded every one in your book.


Psalm 56:8 GNT ~ 8You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my tears. Aren’t they listed in your book?


No matter how you say it. We all have those times, those times when we cannot stop the tears from flowing and those times when tears just won’t come.


Don’t be afraid to cry.


God has a purpose for those tears.


He will one day show us what they were all for.


He does not save worthless things.