Tag Archive | mindset

After the Lull

Fast forward to the present time, 2019, and the years in between, working on putting all I had learned to some practical use.

There has (seemingly) been a lull.

I say seemingly because I believe that even, and maybe especially, in the quiet times, the lull times, God is often doing a work in us so deep, and so profound, that we may not even have words to express what is happening on our insides. We may not even know!

Then one day, the times of quiet disappear, and everything erupts! There is drama everywhere, and there is nowhere to hide.

It is during times of duress, that we begin to realize what all that quiet was about.

All the while it was growing us, and fortifying us, “For such a time as this.”

I believe we grow infinitely closer to God because we depend on Him more.

Enter this book .


I’ve had this book on my laptop for several years. (Ever do that?)

I don’t ever remember reading it.

Until now.

Funny how things can hang out for the longest while, only to reappear at just the right time.

How long have I been asleep? How long has God been working in the silence of my heart? What have I learned from that time?

Dekker maintains that we follow Christ, and then we are all prone to forget the truth that sets us free all too often, each day, each hour, each moment.

To me this is the same thing as going back to our default position.

The one place in our heart and our head that protects us from the pain and chaos of the world, but does absolutely nothing to help us to grow and flourish.

In the world Dekker grew up in, “It was simple: If you say, and or do, and or believe the right things, you’re golden. If you don’t, you’re screwed. It all depends on you. Just like with God, or so I was led to believe.”

My story is certainly the same. Perhaps yours is as well.

Straighten up. Fly right. Toe the line. Conform. Or pay the price.

The price was often abuse by peers and those in charge, chaotic thinking, and loneliness. Add to that a startling array of disorders, diagnoses, and addictions, and the outcome is quite a mess!

If you don’t know who you truly are, and believe yourself to be the only one in this place, you try to fit in the best you can.

It is so much easier to hide.

What is your identity made up with?

  • Is your identity made up by hobbies or sports?
  • Is your identity made up by the church you attend?
  • Is your identity wrapped up in your wife, your husband, your children?
  • Is your identity made up by your career?
  • Is your identity held in your wealth and status?
  • Or is your identity made up of what someone told you; for good or for evil?

These things promise, and promise to make you feel better, worthy.

But they never deliver. They only continue to enslave.

You need to know that these identities are FAR LESS than the identity that you were born with!

The depression, the wounding, the scarring, the addictions, the habits and ill behaviors that you can’t seem to overcome, and maybe even your health issues, may have to do with how you see yourself.

YOUR OWN perception of you!

And you are certainly not alone in your struggle.

Those perfect people that you rub shoulders with on a daily or weekly basis? They struggle too.

They simply hide behind a different curtain, looking as “normal” as possible.

In God’s economy, normal looks a lot like loving;

  • Loving others even when they treat you poorly
  • Loving those who cannot love you back
  • Loving those who are difficult to love
  • Loving ourselves and others as Christ does.

We all fail from time to time.

But we must know that we are made in God’s image, and if we are born “in Him”, we can continually grow toward being that loving person He has created us to be.

If we immerse ourselves in His Word daily, the Word itself will begin to erase all of the negative corrosion that has been sticking to us our entire lives.

His word will cleanse us, and although we are still not perfect, it will continue cleaning us up, and softening our edges, making us more like Christ by the day.

What will that identity look entail?

  • RadiancePsalm 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.
  • Strength2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
  • WisdomProverbs 2:10 For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
  • Compassion Matthew 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
  • Fruits of the Spirit;
    • Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.

I want to tell you one more thing.

The thing I tell you the most.

The most important thing.

Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

No accident.

No mistake.

Just …………………. Love.

Change Your Game

Around 2012, I was invited to a conference in Dallas that helped me to move along a little further on the path.

Still in the process of finding Personality and Persona, and still learning more and more about God and His character.

This conference was a bit like the conference in 2008, only on steroids.

At this conference, we were encouraged to not be happy with only changing who we thought we were in God’s eyes, but to be the ones who helped those around us to make the change for their own selves.

You know. Be the change. Be “Game Changers”.

Time for that upgrade?

We won’t have time here for three days worth of info.

I’ll just share one step.

It’s a big step, but a place to begin.

God wants us to learn to trust Him. He is consistently trying to teach us how to do that.

“There are two things God is doing. He is teaching us how to trust Him. It is really difficult to become Christ like when everything is going well. You do not learn the beauty of it when things are going well, because you are busy enjoying it and it is exactly the right thing to do. But when it is not going well, when it is hard, that is when God finds out things about us. That is when we learn to trust Him and when He learns to trust us. That is the second thing God is doing. He is bringing us to a place where he can trust us.” Graham Cooke

We have to know who God is for us; every single day, in the good times and the bad.

  • Who is God for me when things are going wrong?
  • Who is God for me when favor is being displayed?
  • Who is God for me when I am in need?
  • Who is God for me when I need more resources?
  • Who is God for me on any given day?
  • How does God see me?
  • How does He think about me?
  • How does He talk about me?

Answers to these questions come by experience with God.

From that experience comes the knowledge of who He is, and an encounter with Him that builds trust.

“What you think about God is the most important thought you’re ever going to have.

What you think about God is everything and you have to work it out.

If you do not know that vital stuff about God, you are always going to struggle when the heat is on.

It is what you know about God that keeps you, that makes you stand, that makes you get up, and that makes you walk.

Our true identity is made up of who we are on earth and how we are known in heaven.

You have an identity that heaven knows and understands.

You are known in heaven!”

Join me on Friday for the last installment about who you are.

Two Fine Questions

For quite a while, from 2008 to about 2012, I studied and studied a manuscript from a conference I had gone to in Washington D.C.

This study was about our true identity. It was written and taught by Graham Cooke .

Graham maintains that our identity is made up of two things; Who we are on earth, and how we are know in heaven.

Our PERSONALITY – made up of who we are on earth;

and our PERSONA – made up of how we are known in heaven.

When you understand who God made you to be, or how you are known in heaven, it changes your perception of your circumstances.

When you understand who God made you to be; you can look at things a different way during awful conditions.

“Why is this happening to me?” and “Why this? Why now? Why me?” are questions we would ask from our personality.

They cause us to be victims.

“What does this mean?”

and

“What shall I do?”

These are questions we would ask from our persona.

They help us to be victorious!

Those have been the two most helpful questions to me in times of trouble.

These questions have changed me from a victim, to a victor!

I get to CHOOSE! I can ask myself these two questions and then take action. 

These questions may seem over simplified, but knowing what the words say, and actually putting them to work in your life are two different issues.

The level of difficulty is often disproportionately boosted.

I worked on installing those thoughts and ideas into my heart and mind for more than four years.

I still have to break out the lesson once in a while for a re-cap.

How in the world can you change the way you think?

I did it by reading scripture over and over about just who God says I am and what He thinks of me.

Here are some important things that God wants us to know. I hope you find them helpful.

  • The most important thing that God says about me (and He says it about you to by the way) is this;

Psalm 139:13-16 (ESV)

13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance:
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

  • We are not mistakes. We are not accidents. No matter what we’ve been told.

 Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

  •  He made us just how we are, and He gave us purpose.  All different, and gloriously unique!

2 Samuel 22:20 (ESV)

He brought me out into a broad place;
    he rescued me, because He delights in me.

  • He delights in us and wants to rescue us from the chaos of this world!

Deuteronomy 32:10 “He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.

  • He loves us so much. He rescues us from our wasteland. We are the apple of His eye!

John 3:16-17 (ESV)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life; For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

  • He loves us ALL the same.

If we are born again in Him, then we can always know and remember that He is there for us; even if we are not in Him, we can know that He wants us to be.

I know I’m going long here, but I’d like to share just one more thing with you today.

The words from this song by Morgan Harper Nichols, states my position on what He thinks of me (and you) very well.

It reminds me of how He cared for me, even when I was unaware of Him.

The Storyteller

On a Sunday evening I’m
looking back over all the years
and where I’ve been
Looking at old photographs
I’m remembering
you were right there
and you have been ever since

With every page that turns
I see your faithfulness

Oh the mountain where I climbed
The valley where I fell
You were there all along
That’s the story I’ll tell
You brought the pieces together
Made me this storyteller
Now I know it is well, it is well
That’s the story I’ll tell

There were some nights that felt like
They would last forever
But you kept me breathing
You were with me right then
And all that you have done for me
I could never hold it in
So here’s to me telling this story
Over and over again

Oh the mountain where I climbed
The valley where I fell
You were there all along
That’s the…

Source: Musixmatch

Please join me again next time for part two.

Be Who You Are

Feel sometimes like I’m being lazy. Feel like I should be DOING MORE.

God has made it very clear to me that I am doing life the way I am created to.

I am not created to act like………. (fill in the blanks with the name of the person you wish you could be like) dress like……………..eat like……………..play like………………..pray like……………worship like…………write like………….minister like………………Anything like………………….. God has told me on more than one occasion that I am operating as He wants me to.

When He asks me to do something, I do it, with very little fuss. (Not NO fuss, mind you, but very little) the reason, I am positive, is because I understand that He wants the best for me.

For the next three posts, I’ll delve into that just a bit deeper.

Join me in the discovery won’t you?

Adulting is Hard

Adulting is hard, but some days I like it.

Adulting is hard, and some days I don’t.

Today is one of those days.

It’s one of those days I don’t.

People want opinions, ideas, answers.

I have nothing but opinions, and they really don’t want those.

Not the real ones anyway.

No matter how I say them they will sound snarky.

I am not an arguer, a debater, or a pot stirrer.

I do not like to poke the bear, or to get that stick stuck back in my eye.

I want peace. I want quiet.

Ideally, this adulting thing should be done with conversation, give and take, and a whole bunch of truth in love.

Ideally.

Kids don’t know how to do it, they need adults to teach them, but the adults don’t know how either.

Who is responsible? And that’s another thing!

Oh what a hot button! Can we each just be responsible for our own stuff? Must we always place the blame on someone else?

Don’t get me started. Or maybe I should start. See what I mean?

Adulting is Hard.

The book of Proverbs in the Holy Bible is known as the book of wisdom.

Proverbs 2:6For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;

If we read one book a day, we are ahead of the curve. Wisdom grows.

Proverbs 4:7The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.

Adulting should be a combination of experience, common sense, knowledge and yes, wisdom. Wisdom is simply the best way to apply the knowledge that you’ve acquired.

Proverbs 2:10for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;

Take it easy Deb. Take a breath. Take two breaths.

Feeling a tad better now – Thanks for letting me vent just a little.

How do YOU adult?

Please share in the comments – We can all use YOUR knowledge.

See you next time.

Ain’t Nothin’ Like the Real Thing Baby

All of these stones are real. Except one.
Can you tell the difference?

Counterfeit is great until you need the real thing.

We live in a world that is bright and shiny.

There is always something to grab our attentions, and distract us from the things that are in fact, real.

We can always find a bauble for our most current need; until we can’t.

Where do we turn when we find out that what we have been following, and holding on to, is in fact only a cheap trinket, a counterfeit of the real?

This place is both disheartening and frightening at the same time. How could we have been so fooled, so tricked, so easily duped?

It could be disheartening because, well, if we fell for something this time, then we could easily fall for it a next time.

It could be frightening because, many times these counterfeits can bring danger to us; physically, mentally or financially.

Our emotions run, and run, and stopping them takes a lot of hard work and determination.

One quality decision after another.

These are times that the counterfeit goes away, and the real comes alive; Real pain; Real stress; Real bitterness; Real sorrow.

If we could only know the REAL in advance!

Well I believe we can.

My source is the Holy Bible. Words I believe that come from God Himself.

In the day in which we live, we hear all the time that we must live our own truth.

Personally, I tried that. I lived my own truth for most of my life.

Some parts were just me, other parts were me trying to mix in a little of Him to make it into something I could try and make Him happy with.

In the words of Dr. Phil; “How’s that workin’ for ya?”

Not so well I must admit.

My ideas always ended me up someplace where the bright and shiny had worn off, and turned into dingy and dark.

I want to tell you what has worked for me.

In seeking truth and light, a real deal, I came across some verses in the Bible that made me more than a little curious to seek the readily available truth of scripture.

The truth looked like this;

In Genesis 1:27 it says;

  • So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

And in Psalms 139:13-16 it says;

  • For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

And then finally;

John 8:12 says;

  • Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

I believe these statements to be the real deal, that being said, then I also believe that we are pretty dog-gone special!

If they are real, it means that;

  • I am (We) are made in HIS image!
  • I am (We) not a mistake, He knew me BEFORE conception!
  • I am (We) will not wander around in the dark if I (We) follow Him!

This is not to say there will not be dark times; there will; but we will not falter by holding on to a counterfeit comfort and light, or shiny useless baubles for our pleasure.

Isaiah 54:17 says that;

  • No weapon formed against you shall prosper. It does no say that it won’t be formed, it says it won’t prosper.

In plain language – regarding truth vs. counterfeit – If you follow what scripture says, you will always be able to discern the truth from a lie.

Thank you for joining me here – My hope is that you will find at least one thing that will be helpful and encouraging for you on your path.

See you next time!

ADD and Quietude

Can they survive together?

This topic is huge. So huge in fact, in order to understand it totally, one would have to research and study a good long time to begin to see all of the nuances.

Let me be clear; I am no expert. I am no professional.

What I am, is an adult female who was diagnosed in adulthood with adult onset ADD.

“I thought I Was Stupid” is a really good article on the struggle of women with ADD/ADHD.

And growing up, I DID think I was stupid, when the truth was quite the opposite. I would finish my work early, then wander around the room and disturb those who were still working.

I never learned to study, so what happened was that at that very early age, when the neuron pathways were still being connected, without proper focus, I was self teaching my mind to wander.

Those connections were being made, but not exactly correctly.

This is not to say that everyone begins the same way. There are so many different scenarios that could happen. I simply believe that this is how it began with me.

Back in the day, no one was talking about this. The research just wasn’t there. We didn’t give little Johnny, or little Debbie extra work to do.

We did not guide them in the direction of their gifting. We did not “Play to their strength.”

We told them to sit down, sit still, behave, be quiet or write 500 times on the chalk board “I will stay in my seat during class.” Stop being a brat.

Consequently, at least in my case, my brain went everywhere, like monkeys in a tree, or a fart in a skillet. Everywhere except where it was supposed to be.

I would doodle. I would hum. I would whistle. I would tap my feet.

What a stupid thing – to not be able to focus. There must be something terribly wrong with me.

This is turning into a lot of words, but I need you to understand what was going on, not for me, but for yourself!

Some boys my age were diagnosed with ADD, rarely, but girls? Almost never.

“At the end of the day, if you’re just dealing with ADD, that’s great,” Solden said. “But most women—because they weren’t diagnosed as children, because they didn’t have hyperactivity or were smart—grew up absorbing a lot of wounds and shame. These women are often twice exceptional. They have incredible strengths and are really smart and creative, but they have these struggles that nobody understands, including them.” Sari Solden

Read – They had to work twice as hard!

Please read HERE for more on ADD/ADHD.

So began my obsession with Quietude – Quiescence – Quiet.

Like I said, I was diagnosed as an adult.

Here is my back story, at least in part.

Finding the doctor that I found was simply a miracle. All others before her told me I was depressed. Told me I was anxious. Told me I was something. You’ll get over it. Well I’d spent my entire life this way, so I probably was not going to just get over it.

She wanted to do a different kind of test. One for adult onset ADD.

I took a very long test followed by some in depth counseling with her, and the findings were conclusive.

This indeed was my issue; Mild enough to not be dangerous, but strong enough to keep things from settling in my brain. I did correct her about the “adult onset” part. She agreed I was most likely right.

She prescribed a low dose, medication that worked by “improving the way parts of the brain communicate with each other.”

Enter Quiet Time!

Over some time, a year or so, I saw much improvement.

I was able to actually train myself to sit quietly in my chair by the window, and calm my thoughts, and actually follow through on finding what God had in store for my life.

My doctor and I decided that since the medication had showed me how it felt to string two thoughts together, what calm(er) felt like and what it felt like to focus, perhaps I could wean off of the medication.

I did so successfully.

I had made some Quiet time rituals. I follow them to this day;

  • Same time every day
  • “Do Not Disturb” settings on all devices
  • Bible or other devotional type book
  • Quiet music or silence
  • Journal/note pad for catching random thoughts
  • Strict determination to make it work
  • Some days it is just quiet. No music. No book. No paper. Just quiet.

To close, I would like to say that EVERY day may not be successful, but I can tell you that when I began the art of “Quietude” ANY day that there was a space for quiet was a success!

Nowadays, I do have to keep track of things closely.

I still forget sometimes that “Quiet” is what I need.

On those days, like I’ve said here on this blog before – two minutes – six minutes -ten – Whatever I can do to make it work.

Introvert, Extrovert – Does not matter. Every one can benefit from a few minutes of quietness in their day.

I must tell you, YOU can overcome the issues keeping you from a quiet space.

The effort that you pour into this endevour will pay you back a thousand times over.

Because of this prolonged practice, I believe that moments that SHOULD stress me out, don’t. I believe it’s because of accumulated Quiet time.

Thanks for reading.

See you next time!