Tag Archive | Self-esteem

My Genre

Today I did something I’ve never thought to do before.

I Googled my “Genre”.

I wasn’t really quite sure I “Had” a genre to tell the truth.

My passion is to lead people into seeing the value of what I call “Quietude”.

As an introvert, what this means to me is to be able to have a place to recharge my internal batteries after dealing with, as Susan Cain says; “A world that can’t stop talking”.

If you’ve been here a while, you’ve no doubt seen the little “Quiet” videos made out of the photos I take.

Little vignettes, if you will, designed to calm down the insides, help regain strength, and be ready to do it all again.

I found out so much more today! Here is what I’ll share with you for this post, and then I’ll continue with more later;

  • Where This Idea Began
  • New Information
  • Truth or Lies?
  • Slow Start
  • Onward Toward Healing

It really began way at the beginning of what I call the cave days. I was reading scripture that I had always read. Then, as it happens, some words jumped off the page, followed by a question –

ESV Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect

TLB Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you.

How can I possibly do this? How could I possibly change the way I’ve thought all of m life?

Now I believe in the word of God pretty literally, so that means that if He is asking me to do something, then there must be a way to do it, right?

So I just “happened” to see an episode of something, 700 Club maybe? TBN? The episode I watched had Dr. Caroline Leaf on as a guest. Her teaching was all about re-wiring your brain, re-training it, Transforming it. This is my own simple way of putting it.

You can follow the link for the language that she uses. It involves things like neurons, synapses, and neurotransmitters. So if you’re into that, here’s your link; https://drleaf.com/about/

I had a strong feeling that by being stiller, or quieter, or silent, that I would be able to put some of this Bible idea into my real life.

I have to remind myself these days, that THOSE DAYS, were not at all easy. It was a real struggle for me to actually DO what she was saying.

But I believed Dr. Caroline’s research, and I most certainly believed that if it were not possible, that God would never require it of me.

Enter that tenacity – read hard headed-ness – that I was born with, and one more very important question; Does God tell the truth, or is He a liar?

Well I don’t believe He can lie, so I held on to that.

I started out small. Really small. Two minutes. Ten minutes. Thirty minutes was an extra successful time slot!

I sat with my journal and my Bible on my lap. Coffee by my side. And the goal of renewing my mind to the way that God had planned it from the beginning.

During that time, I believe God allowed me to work through some pretty tragic, destructive things that had been in my life ever since I could remember. Cycles that kept on returning, began to slow down, and melt away. Healing began to come to my mind, and forgiveness to my heart.

Nowadays, in the back ground, there will either be quiet ambient music or nothing at all, and healing is STILL happening.

So now you know where this journey I am on began.

Next time I’ll delve a little deeper into this process, and even some NEW things that I’m learning.

Please join me if you just want to detect a way out of your cave. This world (thinks it) has us trapped, but our minds can be renewed!

See you next time!

Can You Hear It?

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Hear what?

The voice of god.

 

This topic comes up so frequently in conversation.

 

I’m no expert,

but I have made some observations and asked some questions.

I’ve gotten some great answers,

and been quite bewildered by the answers of others.

 

Here’s what I think.

I believe God is always speaking.

Always.

I am just not always listening.

Sometimes I think I am listening,

only to find later how much I missed.

OR

I do not understand the manner in which He is speaking.

These two observations made me want to find a better way of hearing.

It’s been a long, long study,

but I’m learning more and more every day.

 

Questions…

How does God speak?

How do we know we are not just making it up?

What about all those coincidences?

If I connect the dots, will they lead back to Him?

What that one scripture that I simply cannot get out of my mind?

Can I HEAR His voice with my ears?

What about those “gut” feelings?

 

I am positive that you can add more questions to this list.

As many people as there are,

there are AT LEAST that many questions.

 

As stated earlier, I believe God is ALWAYS speaking.

Consider this thought –

What if –

  Babies were born with the ability to hear and communicate with God,

and they lost that ability through neglect or lack of knowledge or just plain unbelief?

Perhaps the big people around them didn’t know this language,

or they chose not to believe it if they did know.

Could be?

 

If we spend time each day getting to know God and His Word,

then our minds will become renewed.

Slowly, over time,

our thoughts will become more like His.

We will learn through His Word about His character.

We will learn through His Word His expectations.

We will learn through His Word that He LONGS to communicate with us.

We will learn through His Word the “sound” of His voice.

My sheep hear my voice and they know me.

The voice of another they will not follow.

John 10:26 -28

(That’s another couple of posts all by itself!)

When we spend the time,

We can be fairly certain that we are not making it up.

He is Faithful to watch over his Word to do it

Jeremiah 1:12

Do your thoughts align with God’s Word?

Do your thoughts align with the promises He has already written for you in His Word?

If so,

you can be pretty sure He’s been speaking to you.

Somehow.

 

In the late 80’s there was a program called “Perfect Strangers”.

In it, the character Balki was always saying “What a co-in-o-dink!”

He meant coincidence of course.

Well, I do not believe in them.

I choose to believe that it is God’s way of connecting the dots for our lives.

Look back on some things in your life.

Things that in no way go together,

but in the end,

the dots connect to the next big thing that God had for you.

 

He’s talking to you.

Are you listening?

 

Is there a verse that you have read that just will not let you go?

One of my biggest ones; Psalm 139 of course.

but especially verses 13-16-

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you  when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me  were written in your book before one of them came to be.

 

Oh yeah!

I’m NOT a mistake!

 

God’s voice,

God speaking to me,

will always make me know that I have worth and value.

 

I HAVE heard the audible voice of God.

This is not so common,

but I believe that God uses whatever it will take to get us to listen.

In the circumstance I was in,

I am so glad He spoke,

no,

He yelled!

People tell me that God wouldn’t yell.

 In my case He yelled “SHUT UP!”

(He would never say that!)

Well He did.

It WAS the only way I would listen.

It made all the difference in the outcome.

 

My husband has heard His voice audibly as well.

If he hadn’t listened,

we could have been burying our daughter due to a strangers foolish mistake.

 

I’ve had experiences where my insides just didn’t settle well in a given circumstance.

Some of those unsettled times I have not paid attention,

and later paid the price for “not listening”.

By the same token,

Some I have taken to heart,

listened,

and in the end seen exactly the pit fall Holy Spirit was trying to keep me from.

God was speaking to me.

In my gut.

 

I choose to believe that He uses all these ways and more

to communicate to a world that He so longs to interact with.

To SPEAK to us.

To build relationship with us.

To love and to bless us.

 

I have a little story I’s like to share with you on this subject

I have permission to do so.

My friend and I were talking a while back about this very topic.

We were talking about the fact that we want to teach our children and grand-children

how to hear God in whatever way He chooses to speak.

Recently she was sitting on her front porch,

She was enjoying the sights and sounds and smells of the beautiful fall here in the mid-west.

She spends her quiet time there.

Encountering God and listening for His voice.

On one day,

her not quite pre-school age daughter came to join her.

She was very quiet,

and after a bit her mom was going to speak to her,

and she put her little finger to her lips and shushed her mom.

A bit shocked,

mom asked why?

To which the little replied,

“I think I hear God talking.”

So of course mom asked,

“So what do you think He’s saying?”

To which the little answered.

“Chirp, chirp.”

 

A heartwarming story to be sure.

A surprising answer from a babe.

Purity.

 Sweetness.

A complete lack of guile.

A heart ready to HEAR what God has to say.

—————-

Fearfully and wonderfully made

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When You Were Seven

This past Sunday our Community Hour Class began its summer session; “Proverbs; Making the Wise Wiser”.

During the introduction, we were each asked to answer a couple of questions around our table.

These questions were meant as kind of an ice breaker, and a lead right in to the topic we are studying.

Well they were ice breakers to be sure, but to me one of these questions was so much more.  It sent me on another journey, into the background that makes me who I am.

All of the time I have spent on introspection, I would like to think that it is all finished.

As we have spoken of in a previous post, it will not be finished as long as we are here on this earth.

However, our Merciful Father in Heaven will allow no more than we can handle at any one time.

Each journey into our background and back out again, carries with it another piece of healing, filling in the puzzle that is us.

English: Puzzle Svenska: Pussel

Have you ever been putting a puzzle together and many pieces go together quickly?

Have you noted that in the very same puzzle, some can take a long time to place?

Each of these remaining pieces needs to be inspected.

They perhaps need to be held in your hand, and placed and replaced until the proper

place is found.

If you do not enjoy the process, you probably will never finish the puzzle.

The question we were asked, seemed very innocuous at the time it was asked, but the more I reflected on it, the more I could sense that this would not be over, just because the class was.

This pieced would have to be investigated closely.

Here are the questions;

* How many lived in your home when you were seven?

* Who was the warmest person in your life at that time?

Harmless questions right?

Well as the others spoke their answers, I sought my own answer to the question “Who was the warmest person in your life at that time?”

What I soon realized, was that I could not remember even one “warm” person in my life.

Were people supposed to be warm?

The only thing that came to my mind was that during my very young life, we used to travel every Sunday to my Grampas house in the country.

While there, I would climb the apple trees in his orchard and visit the hay mow in the barn.

Life was peaceful if only for a short time.

After dinner, I can recall clearly, sitting on my Grampas lap in his big comfy chair, eating popcorn out of an enamel roasting pan and watching Lawrence Welk.

I believe that was the safest, coziest, warmest spot I ever knew.

When the show was over, it was time to load up and go home.

My heart longed for our return the following week.

Those visits came to an abrupt end, when there was a misunderstanding between my Father and my Grandpa that got me a beating that today would have landed me in the hospital and my Father in jail.

Father never apologized and Grandpa would not let him return until he did.

I never got over the fact that it was my fault that we could not visit any more.

My warm person/spot was gone.

Grampa came to town to live with us several years later, after my Grandma died, and my Mother and Father divorced, but our relationship was never the same.

I knew it was my fault.

I didn’t find out until much later why it had changed so drastically, and that was that I had grown up, and he didn’t feel that hugging or snuggling with a girl my age was proper.

So NOT my fault.

But the damage was already done.

So.  After class, I was compelled to come and go through the family photos left here by my Mom.

There I found snapshots of brief moments of family life.  Brief shots.  Brief smiles.

I also, sadly, noticed that in nearly all of the photos of that time period, the smile never went to the eyes.

That sounds strange maybe, but it was there.  I saw it.

Here are two photos I found of myself.  In one of them, my favorite one, I was four.  See the light in the eyes?  They twinkled.

I think this may have been before I found out I was defective.

See the second photo?  Age seven.  Sad smile.  No twinkle.

I’m still processing what I see.

I’m still examining every piece.

With God’s help, and His alone, I will be able to fully place the truth, and go on to another piece.

Ladies and Gentlemen; here is the truth;

YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE!

AND NEITHER WAS I!

Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV1984)

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

 

Do not be afraid of the process.

Join me in placing the pieces where they rightly fit.

Let us hold God’s hands together,

And believe the truth.

John 8:32 (KJV)

32 And ye shall know the truth, and (He) the truth shall make you free.

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