Can they survive together?
This topic is huge. So huge in fact, in order to understand it totally, one would have to research and study a good long time to begin to see all of the nuances.
Let me be clear; I am no expert. I am no professional.
What I am, is an adult female who was diagnosed in adulthood with adult onset ADD.
“I thought I Was Stupid” is a really good article on the struggle of women with ADD/ADHD.
And growing up, I DID think I was stupid, when the truth was quite the opposite. I would finish my work early, then wander around the room and disturb those who were still working.
I never learned to study, so what happened was that at that very early age, when the neuron pathways were still being connected, without proper focus, I was self teaching my mind to wander.
Those connections were being made, but not exactly correctly.
This is not to say that everyone begins the same way. There are so many different scenarios that could happen. I simply believe that this is how it began with me.
Back in the day, no one was talking about this. The research just wasn’t there. We didn’t give little Johnny, or little Debbie extra work to do.
We did not guide them in the direction of their gifting. We did not “Play to their strength.”
We told them to sit down, sit still, behave, be quiet or write 500 times on the chalk board “I will stay in my seat during class.” Stop being a brat.
Consequently, at least in my case, my brain went everywhere, like monkeys in a tree, or a fart in a skillet. Everywhere except where it was supposed to be.
I would doodle. I would hum. I would whistle. I would tap my feet.
What a stupid thing – to not be able to focus. There must be something terribly wrong with me.
This is turning into a lot of words, but I need you to understand what was going on, not for me, but for yourself!
Some boys my age were diagnosed with ADD, rarely, but girls? Almost never.
“At the end of the day, if you’re just dealing with ADD, that’s great,” Solden said. “But most women—because they weren’t diagnosed as children, because they didn’t have hyperactivity or were smart—grew up absorbing a lot of wounds and shame. These women are often twice exceptional. They have incredible strengths and are really smart and creative, but they have these struggles that nobody understands, including them.” Sari Solden
Read – They had to work twice as hard!
Please read HERE for more on ADD/ADHD.
So began my obsession with Quietude – Quiescence – Quiet.
Like I said, I was diagnosed as an adult.
Here is my back story, at least in part.
Finding the doctor that I found was simply a miracle. All others before her told me I was depressed. Told me I was anxious. Told me I was something. You’ll get over it. Well I’d spent my entire life this way, so I probably was not going to just get over it.
She wanted to do a different kind of test. One for adult onset ADD.
I took a very long test followed by some in depth counseling with her, and the findings were conclusive.
This indeed was my issue; Mild enough to not be dangerous, but strong enough to keep things from settling in my brain. I did correct her about the “adult onset” part. She agreed I was most likely right.
She prescribed a low dose, medication that worked by “improving the way parts of the brain communicate with each other.”
Enter Quiet Time!
Over some time, a year or so, I saw much improvement.
I was able to actually train myself to sit quietly in my chair by the window, and calm my thoughts, and actually follow through on finding what God had in store for my life.
My doctor and I decided that since the medication had showed me how it felt to string two thoughts together, what calm(er) felt like and what it felt like to focus, perhaps I could wean off of the medication.
I did so successfully.
I had made some Quiet time rituals. I follow them to this day;
- Same time every day
- “Do Not Disturb” settings on all devices
- Bible or other devotional type book
- Quiet music or silence
- Journal/note pad for catching random thoughts
- Strict determination to make it work
- Some days it is just quiet. No music. No book. No paper. Just quiet.
To close, I would like to say that EVERY day may not be successful, but I can tell you that when I began the art of “Quietude” ANY day that there was a space for quiet was a success!
Nowadays, I do have to keep track of things closely.
I still forget sometimes that “Quiet” is what I need.
On those days, like I’ve said here on this blog before – two minutes – six minutes -ten – Whatever I can do to make it work.
Introvert, Extrovert – Does not matter. Every one can benefit from a few minutes of quietness in their day.
I must tell you, YOU can overcome the issues keeping you from a quiet space.
The effort that you pour into this endevour will pay you back a thousand times over.
Because of this prolonged practice, I believe that moments that SHOULD stress me out, don’t. I believe it’s because of accumulated Quiet time.
Thanks for reading.
See you next time!