We’re all self-made, but only the successful ever admit it.
After all, why ever admit that you don’t like what you see in the mirror if you do not plan on changing?
But what if I were to tell you that the root cause of unhappiness and failure are not external factors, but our inner reactions to those factors.
After all, what is required of one in order to be successful?
Is it being a billionaire? Changing the world? Find one’s soulmate?
Aren’t those things intricately tied to a lot of external factors? And isn’t our perception of those factors the result of a combination of behaviors, beliefs, thoughts, and adaptations?
After all, some people are happy while having little reason to be so, and others are unhappy even though wildly successful.
It seems to me that we are only as happy and successful as we make up our minds to be. Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure, and ultimately it’s our inner reality that that dictates our own happiness.
The Number One Trait of the Unsuccessful
All unsuccessful people share this trait: they are blamers.
They are not willing to take responsibility for their own happiness and success, and thus they blame everyone and everything.
You fail by doing so, because there’s no reason for you to do anything to fix your predicament.
Don’t like what you see in the mirror? It’s genetics, it’s your parents, it’s some health issue, it’s the fast food industry.
Don’t like how much you earn? It’s the economy, the government, your neighbors.
When we blame external factors for what is ultimately our internal reality, we are choosing to sit in a rocking chair. It feels like we’re going somewhere, but we’re not going anywhere.
Blaming someone else means you never assume responsibility for your life.
I know this because I’ve wasted most of my twenties by looking for someone to put the blame on for everything that needed fixing in my life.
Do you want to know the harsh truth?
It doesn’t matter who’s to blame, it’s still your responsibility.
Your significant other left you? It’s your responsibility to fix your heart.
You lost everything you had during a recession? It’s your responsibility to challenge this disaster with more enthusiasm than ever before.
When you expect someone else to fix your life for you, you become helpless, and that’s a pathway to soon becoming hopeless.
We often like to tap-dance around the truth, being afraid that the truth is going to bruise our little egos.
If you don’t like something about your life, it’s your responsibility to change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
Whatever you do, whether you have to beg or crawl or fight, just don’t put the blame on other people. They are not responsible for your success and happiness, you are.