Muddling and Mulling

I’m a really slow processor, but I am finally getting there.

Mulling over much these days.

In the beginning of the Covid pandemic lockdown, I seemed really good at keeping my mind in a positive place.

Covid? No problem. 

I spent many hours doing what I loved.

Reading. Writing. Listening to podcasts and doing Bible studies.

Doing what I loved. Loving what I was doing.

I was still able to go to ReFit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQfk3HQOL3g), walk the dog, go get groceries early and be home before the rush.

Staying home, doing these things was not a hardship for me then, as it is not now.

Somewhere around the middle of August, my mind began to be muddled up.

Since January, and even before that, I knew what I was to do, and relished doing it.

So.

September, October, and part of November, with all the muddling going on, I began to pray again, more than I had, and differently.

More time being quiet, but being quiet differently.

Writing private notes, but writing them differently. 

I pinpointed where I believe the decline began, and then took my own sweet time putting a plan into action.

Covid, no problem.

Down time, no problem.

Then when all the election stuff began.

I found out quickly that people I thought I knew, both online, and in person, and myself, had some quite different world views.

Different ways of seeing things.

And really, that did not bother me so much either.

Everyone has different reasons for thinking what They think, and believing what they believe.

I am not God or Junior Holy Spirit, so that did not bother me too much either.

So, what exactly was it that seemed to knock my train off the track?

I believe that social media may have had much to do with my derailing. 

With all that spare time on hand, I was free to read every single post made available on the world wide web.

I jest.

But I was seeing a lot of people I didn’t know, constantly bad-mouthing people without personal knowledge of all the details.

Then I began seeing some of my friends, in person ones, and online ones begin voicing the same types of ideas.

Whether we agree or not, is not even the issue.

What began to take me down was the vitriol (cruel, bitterly harsh or caustic language or criticism).

Pure. Unadulterated.  Not even trying to hide it, vitriol.

It quite frankly hurt my head, and my heart in such a big way that the muddling of my mind became steady, and sure.

I found that I was unable to maintain a positive mindset while reading all of that.

Scripture tells us a few things very clearly.  

Pray for our leaders; First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior.  1 Timothy 2:1-3

Say nice things; Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24

Speak little, listen more; When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. Proverbs 10:19

Think nice things; Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:6

Run from evil; Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:9

I had to make a difficult decision.

The decision was to only do the daily social media that I have done for several years, that uplifts, and encourages.

My blog even had to wait –

Remember momma always said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

I decided postings from family, and my in person “Sister-friends” would be OK.

I know that we do not always see eye to eye, but we are able to be civil.

Most media reports are reported from one side, in my humble opinion; so – out! 

Whether they be true or not, I cannot say. Again, not God. Not Holy Spirit.

The only thing I can be in charge of, is what I ingest, what I take into my being.

So, it was with that, that I withdrew from it.

A social media diet of sorts.

No news unless I get my husband’s point of view, from a handful of trusted sources.

Mainstream media is off limits, that has helped enormously as well.

I have found that my quiet times and Bible reading times have again begun to calm my anxious thoughts. Those times are helping me to reorder those thoughts.

I can say that the only thing I miss about a life of not scrolling, is the vitriol I mentioned earlier.

And I can live with that.

I’ll be back when I have something (nice) to say.

Until then …

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