Do you remember the sense you got when you were in the presence of your father?
Was it a sense of abandonment?
Was it a sense of anger?
Was it a sense of bitterness?
Was it a sense of regret?
Was it a sense of disconnection?
OR was it a sense of something even worse, a sense of lust and usury,
and the sense that you were prey to be preyed upon?
Did you sense that you were collateral damage to fill the evil desires of someone else?
2 Peter 3:3 (NIV1984) First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires.
If this is the sense you had growing up,
I want to express my profound sadness for the life of that child.
I also want to express my equally profound belief that the anger, the bitterness, the regret, the disconnection and the overwhelming sense of being a victim can be overcome.
But how you ask?
Here is what I believe due to the work I have done on my insides.
All of the above, the sense of abandonment, anger, bitterness, regret and of being prey to those much stronger than I, has always tried to triumph.
But I “did the work” so to speak, and continue to do so.
I call it an “Inside job”.
In the natural world, all of these barriers can be strongly affected by therapy of many different types.
Each of us is made very differently. Different approaches will have different outcomes.
In the best case scenarios, the fix may be hard to maintain because of difficulty we still carry within the memories. We are still connected in our minds.
In my own case I found that new things could not be done in old ways.
I needed a new tactic. I needed a new thing.
I embarked on a new process, a less natural, more spiritual process.
It was not a fast process by any means, but it was effective. I could hear my Grandmothers voice telling me that “slow and steady wins the race”.
My first action in the “new process” was very purposeful.
I picked up my Bible and began to read.
Isaiah 43:19 (NIV1984) See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
You mean my life does not have to be as it is?
I do not have to settle?
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV1984) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
But I don’t feel like a new creation!
How can this be? Is this normal?
What I did not yet know was that when we give our hearts to Jesus and ask Him for His help, He saves our spirits, to live with him forever, but we still have our same flesh until the day we leave this earth. We still must overcome the old thinking and habits we have had since birth.
Psalm 51:10 (NIV1984) create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
We must be purposeful, intentional, and active. For that pure heart and renewed spirit,
we must choose to seek Him.
Genesis 50:20 (NIV1984) you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
You mean all this baggage I’ve been saddled with for so long can actually be good for someone else?
Isaiah 61:3 (NIV1984) and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
I, of course was the one “grieving in Zion”.
I began to learn about just how beautiful I was to God, and that His heart was to show me the TRUE love of a TRUE father.
He wanted to be my “Abba”. My “Daddy”.
Romans 8:15(NIV1984) for you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
I began to see that He has always wanted to lavish His love on me.
1 John 3:1 (NIV1984) how great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
His heart was not to harm me. Harm came to me, but not by His choice. It was the choice of humans. The days are evil, (Ephesians 5:16B) and man makes choices that go far out of the realm where God would have us to live.
He, God, my heavenly Father, my Abba, did however protect my life. He gave me an open opportunity to choose Him.
This is when I learned that I could fulfill His purpose for me, by helping others, who may not have ever heard that there is a way out.
Jude 1:23 (NIV1984) snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.
Is this a picture of you?
Are you “grieving in Zion”?
Would you consider a new thing?
Would you pick up a Bible and read?
Would you take the step?
Would you “Do the work”?
Would you embark on the “Inside job”?
Would you ask for help if you need it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions,
Feel free to contact me here,
Or for more privacy, you can message me
At Significant Encounters on Facebook.
For further research on “Abba” -> http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/bible/tarazi_name_of_god.htm
You mentioned something that I’ve also come to realize on my journey. We don’t have to settle for the way things are. We can’t change the past, but we have choices and hope for the future. Thanks, Deborah
you described so well the process my wife went through and her steps on healing the “inside.”
I could comment on one thing I noticed – it was not just any Bible that helped her – for her – it was the Life Application Bible format. It comes in many different translations. At the bottom of every page there are ways to live out what you might have been reading.
Isn’t it amazing how those practical helps can be such a big advantage
to getting the understanding we need to be healed?
They often cause us to look at things like we might not have before.
There is wisdom in the abundance of council!
Thanks for sharing!
My journey to healing began with a prompt from the Holy Spirit (although I didn’t know it was Him) to give God one last chance and read the Bible from cover to cover. I did, like War and Peace – read it again, and the journey began. Have a blessed day. Good post.
I’m so glad you took a moment to share your thoughts.
Isn’t it amazing how each time you read the Bible,
you see it through a different lens and learn something new?
Glad you’re on this journey.
Wonderful post, Deborah. You so accurately outline the reality of what turning to God and living a Spirit-filled life is. I won’t expound on it, because, as I’ve said, you did it wonderfully! Awesome!
Our “Abba” is just awaiting our call.
He so longs to love on us.
Thanks for stopping by Charles.