Tag Archive | mind

Part Two – Growing Up Churched (2/3)

Mar8

Thou Shalt Not

There was one thing I heard clearer than anything else during those early morning church services.

Thou shalt not.

I heard the words the Pastor was reading from the Holy Bible kept on the pulpit. I heard the Thou shalt nots, and that the payment for sin is death. I believed those words.

I still do. But he was telling me the thou shalt nots, without a word about how not to. Basically, he was telling me what to think, without teaching me how to think. What I never heard was just how to not do the Thou shalt nots, or how to receive forgiveness for my ill doing.

Surely, God didn’t punish little girls with the death penalty, right? But how could I know? Since they never told me (or I never heard) I only knew for sure that I was a wrong-doer.

I heard the words God so loved the world, but to me they were overshadowed by all of my wrongness. How could He love someone who was just so wrong?

Fast forward again, to when I was that young mother, going to that different church with my children, without their daddy.

It was there that I began to understand my Father’s (God’s) love for me. How it extended much farther than I could have ever believed.

The story of my earthly father is for another day. Suffice to say that our relationship made it very difficult for me to understand that “love” could be any other way.

John 1:12 (ESV) but to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. All God wanted was for me to receive Him.

The wrongness of my childhood was nothing in His eyes. It only mattered that I look to Him for guidance.

The choice was mine. Wait. I get to choose? I had never even known that there were options. My wrongness, just was. It was what it was.

I had an encounter with a woman at this time, which I barely knew.

Here is what she said;

“When I see you, I see a chalkboard. This chalkboard says that 2 + 2 = 5. No matter what you do, or how many times you erase it, you cannot get the answer to come out correctly.”

What she told me next, totally floored me.

“God wants you to know that it wasn’t your fault.”

What? I knew at that moment that all my wrongness, was not my fault, I just had not been given all the facts.

On that day I received three things; Freedom from wrongness, choices, and a Father who loved me regardless.

It was then I realized that I would be in a totally different “classroom” being taught in a way that I could learn.

Oh what a glorious day!

 

5 for 5 Brain Dump – February 12, 2018

Feb12

Once again, a challenge has been made by the lovely Julie JordanScott.

The quote is from Laura Ingalls Wilder, “It does not matter what happens. It is what one does when it happens that really counts.”

The prompt was; Write 5 memories where something significant happened. Write about what you did as a result.

Here is what I wrote, 5 for 5 Brain Dump style (3x). If you don’t know what 5 for 5 Brain Dump is, Here to find out more about it.

I write today on my #4 choice, as it has been on my mind as of late. I went to a meeting in May of 2006. I listened intently to the lady as she told her story. She told what the Lord had done in her life, and just how He was using her to help others along the way. When the meeting was over, anyone who wanted, could go down and they would pray for you. I waited till last. Basically I just wanted to see how she operated after the fact.

Now she had a lady with her to help her pray with people, and to help her to set up and tear down. It was getting late, she had this lady talk to me and pray with me.

Everything began normally, but after I responded to a few of her questions, she got very loud, and seemingly annoyed, almost angered. She thought my attitude in God’s presence was pretty cocky. She went on for almost 10 minutes. A couple of girls who had come with me told me later, that if it had been them they would have been in a puddle on the floor. Fortunately for me, I had a friend behind me writing down everything that was being said! It wasn’t pretty, and I was greatly distressed.

On the way home from that meeting, I wept, and wept, and wept. I took those notes and for days to my quiet place, and poured over them again and again. Finally, at the end of that week, I went to mentors home, some 2 hours from my house, and cried it all out to her, until there was nothing left.

Well she confirmed all that I had been thinking of in my chair. She told me it was very mature to to think it through like that, and not just be ticked off at the woman. She told me if there was any truth in her words – to take it. If there was any untruth – leave it. Her quote? “We are Iowa farmers. Like any good cow, we can chew up the hay and spit out the sticks.” (I love this woman!)

The only thing I hadn’t considered, and perhaps the most important, relayed to me by this woman I had trusted for years, was this; What she said was true. Her delivery system stunk. It was way off. Regardless of what you have to say, you must be kind. She, this woman who spoke so harshly to me, was not in any way kind.

So the lesson I learned, was that you can give people any information you want to give them, even bad info. If you are not kind to someone less mature, they may walk away and perhaps never seek help again. You must always remember to be kind, so that people can see God.

HeavenlyHosts

 

 

 

 

5 for 5 Brain Dump – for January 16

Jan16

If you don’t know what 5 for 5 Brain Dump is, Here to find out more.

We began to explore what blocks us. (Click the link above if you would like to join us!)

The prompt for the day was; My Block is Made Up Of …..

Here, in unedited, free flow writing is what I wrote.

My block is no longer made up of old sound tracks. What it is now is time/focus/eye strain. The only block I need, is my TIME BLOCK. Blocking out time for specific tasks, worked for me in the past. Then I stopped. I do not even know what the block it was that stopped me. But I took the time to make another TIME BLOCK schedule. There is a copy in my journal, on my desk, and one on my kitchen table. When I recognize that I’m straying, I need only check that schedule to get back on track.

Grateful? Yes. It feels so much better to be productive.

 

There is so much more that could be said here.

But it’s 5 minutes right?

I’ll have to return to this prompt again.

I hope you found it helpful.