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Significant Encounters #3 Hard Concepts

Sep13

Significant Encounters is a place for you if you have experienced drama and trauma in your life. A place of encouragement for you. A place where you know that someone is in your corner. A soft place to land.

As I grew up, I became acquainted with concepts like mistrust and doubt, neglect, abandonment, illegitimacy, and adoption. I learned them and felt their effects even though I had no vocabulary for them.

Mistrust and doubt. These concepts were introduced, and well seated in my heart. My adopt-a-dad used to tell me that smart people asked questions. When I asked questions, I got told to use my head for something besides a hat rack.

Of course, this created confusion in my young mind. It also caused my skin to turn red hot with humiliation, and made me wonder if I should ask questions or not?

Mistrust entered my life here from being told something, and then having it turned on me, and made me wonder if I could trust any of what he said.

It turns out, he WAS right, about the question part anyway, the Voice translation of the Bible says it this way – “If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking.”  But as my mentor would say, “The message was correct, but the delivery was off.”

Illegitimacy and abandonment. Illegitimacy was written in my DNA.  My bio-dad wanted nothing to do with me even before I was born. I know I am not alone in this, and I know what a shadow it puts on our hearts when we know this truth.

Can I tell you that our heavenly father is not like that? The Christian Standard Bible relays this message like this – “Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.” Psalm 139:16

Now let me say a word about neglect and abandonment. I cannot say that I was neglected. My sweet mother worked very hard to make sure that my siblings and myself were fed, clothed, and housed.

Our emotions needed a lot of help back then, but that part of the equation was not readily available.

The abandonment part placed itself in my heart before I was born, and hid there, growing until such time as it could make itself known and turn my heart into something hard. Hot like molten lava, turned hard as hard as could be.

If your heart is soft, it is pliable. A pliable heart can take in circumstances; pain, loneliness, fear, abuse, and illness, and find a way to use them for good. It can mold itself into something new.

A hard heart? A hard heart shatters in pieces when it is thrown to the ground. Not impossible to fix perhaps, but so much harder, with so many fragments. Only the Master Surgeon would even consider trying to mend it.

I know that since God created us, He can also recreate us. However, we must be willing. We must ask and believe. In John 16:23B-25 it says Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

Matthew 8:23 speaks of a servant being healed. And to the centurion, Jesus said, “Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.” And the servant was healed at that very moment. God longs for our hearts to be healed.

Illegitimacy. That is an ugly word when used describing children. The meaning is that of being contrary to law or rules; illegal; unlawful, or not recognized as lawful offspring. Born of parents not married to each other.

Things in 2022 have changed drastically, but in the past, through no fault of their own, they had no legal rights to any inheritance or property. The stigma of an illegitimate child has waned, however, statistics prove that it still causes some pretty bad effects.

Some conditions that come along with it may be, but not limited to, poverty, teenage parenthood, and the low educational status of the parents. Impact of Illegitimate Births

This brings us to the final, and possibly the most important point in this session.

Adoption. Back in the day, children without legal parentage had no rights at all. They were subject to whatever abuses came their way. A legal adoption gives that child proper rights, as though he were born in the same bloodline.

I became as entitled to my adopt-a-dads inheritance as my siblings, who were actually from him. Scripture has a lot to say about this subject. Psalm 68:5-7 says that God is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing.

I WAS a prisoner, and God saw fit to make sure I was set free. What about you?

Have you experienced the “Spirit of adoption”? Galatians 4:4-6 But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” (Abba = Daddy)

And if they do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. Romans 11:23 Do you believe God sent His son for you? If so, then this verse applies to you;

Grafted in = Adopted into the family.

Here’s the very best promise of all. God says; I will not leave you fatherless: but I will come to you. John 14:18

Next time our focus will be on our thought life. Getting our thought life in order is the very first step to healing our broken hearts. I hope to “see” you then.

Significant Encounters 2022 #2 Who Does God Say You Are?

Sep8

Significant Encounters is a place for you if you have experienced drama and trauma in your life. A place of encouragement for you. A place where you know that someone is in your corner. A soft place to land.

Remember when I said that God was a creator and that He created us just the way we were? Let me read you something from Psalm 139:13-16 – For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

If we fully understand these verses, then what we know is that God created us the way He wanted us to be. The way he could use us. The way that delighted His heart over us. The delight that He had over us could be a benefit to others. We know that we are not a mistake. God doesn’t make mistakes. It’s not something He’s capable of.

Now the world that we live in tends to glorify mistakes. They point them out. You’ll see it daily all-over social media. You’ll see it all over the daily news and hear it when you go out. Coming from every direction. Being canceled is a thing nowadays. It doesn’t take much, just disagree with someone’s opinion. This is NOT how God planned it. He wants us to know what he thinks of us.

He created us. So what does He say about His creation? We just read it, right? We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Even if we don’t FEEL like it.

Fearfully translated from Hebrew means heartfelt interest, reverence, and respect.

Wonderfully translated from Hebrew means unique and set apart.

God often uses our weaknesses to help others. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10.

Sin and pride mask the part where He said He made us with a purpose in mind. What is that purpose?  Love. To love Him. To love others. To show His love to all the people that we can.

Our identity must be found in God. It cannot be found in our families, our jobs, our homes, our hobbies, our travels, or even our dreams. Looking for our identity there, will still allow lots of room for insecurities and poor self-imaging.

Here is a partial list of just what God thinks of you, and the corresponding scriptures.

If you have received Christ as your savior*, then all of these things apply to you.  

It STILL amazes me that God thinks this of me, after all the lies I’ve ingested over a lifetime.

  • You are saved. 2Timothy 1:9 Who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began. (NKJV)
  • You are complete. Colossians 2:10. and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power. (NKJV)
  • You are chosen. 1 Thessalonians 1:4 We know, dear brothers and sisters, that God loves you and has chosen you to be his own people. (NLT)
  • You are a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (NKJV)
  • You are a child of God. 1 John 3:1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. (NKJV)
  • You are no longer a slave. Galatians 4:7 Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. (NKJV)
  • You are above and not beneath. The Lord will make you the head and not the tail. You will always be on top, never at the bottom, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I am giving you today.
  • You are accepted. Romans 15:7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. (NLT)
  • You are healed. Psalm 30:2 O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. (NKJV)
  • You are not alone. Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (NKJV)
  • God thinks You are special. 1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. (NKJV)
  • You are alive in Christ. Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved). (NKJV)
  • You are His. Isaiah 43:1 But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. (NKJV)
  • In God, you are wise. Proverbs 2:6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. (NKJV)

Read more about it here; How do I receive Christ?

Pray this simple prayer.

DEAR LORD JESUS, I WANT TO KNOW YOU PERSONALLY.  THANK YOU FOR DYING ON THE CROSS FOR MY SINS AND FOR RISING FROM THE DEAD.  I OPEN THE DOOR OF MY LIFE AND RECEIVE YOU AS MY SAVIOR AND LORD.  I TRUST YOU NOW TO FORGIVE MY SINS AND GIVE ME ETERNAL LIFE.  PLEASE MAKE ME THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE.

Feel free to like, comment and share with anyone you think might find encouragement from this post.

I hope you’ll join me next time, where we’ll further our conversation on how and why we think of ourselves the way we do.

Significant Encounters 2022 #1

Sep6

I’m so happy that you have made the choice to join me here.

Significant Encounters is a place for you if you have experienced drama and trauma in your life.

A place of encouragement for you.

A place where you know that someone is in your corner.

A soft place to land.

In this session, I’d like to talk about who God is.

If we begin with understanding who he is, then we can understand how He wants to help us.

First, on the list, God is I’m omniscient. That’s a big word, a Latin one actually. What it means is that he is all-knowing. He knows absolutely everything, from beginning to end. There is not one thing that can surprise Him.

Then comes omnipresent. It’s another big word, meaning that he is all-encompassing. This means that God has created a circle around all of His creation. All of it, everyone, everything, everywhere.

Then the word omnipotent, meaning He is unlimited authority and power.

Omnibenevolence. In Latin, this word means all-good-willing. God is always good, and always willing to answer us when we call to Him.

Each of us has likely heard the creation story. It tells us that God is our creator and that He created the heavens and the earth. He created everything. He created it with His voice. He said “Be” and it was. This is what He said about you “Be”. And there you were! And you know what? It was good. You were good. It reminds me of a bumper sticker back in the ’70s that said, “God Doesn’t Make Junk”.  

God is sovereign, which means that He has supreme power and authority. God is eternal, holy, and true. He is love, and full of grace. He is just and full of wisdom.

He is immutable, that’s another big word. It means He doesn’t change. He never changes. Above all, He is faithful. He can be depended on no matter what. He will always do what He says He will do.

Now, if these concepts don’t mean anything to you, then our time together will help you to learn them. Our time together will help you to see who He is. You will learn that He loves you, and you will want to know Him more. You will learn about His character, and why He loves you. You will get to know him, and understand why you can trust Him.

When you know who He is, you will begin to see the expansive possibilities that He has created for your life.

Us knowing Him, Him knowing us, Us knowing Him, Him knowing us, is the perfect cycle. It’s a cycle that we want to have repeated in our lives.

Knowing how He knows us. Knowing how He loves us. Knowing how He created us the way we are. Knowing that He never makes mistakes. Knowing that He has a plan for us, our lives, and for our good, will make the things we’ll be hearing here in the next few weeks much easier to know and understand.

In my growing-up life, I never knew any of this. This just isn’t what I was taught. I felt alone most of the time, and it really did not make a difference to me.

I did have some real issues with believing in a heavenly father.

You see, growing up, I had two fathers. One was biological, and the other adopted me when was small. The bio-dad, I didn’t even know until I was an adolescent. My adopt-a-dad married my mother and adopted me so that I would have the same last name as him. Because in those days it didn’t bode well for a daughter and a dad to have different names. At any rate. Both of these men were abusive in very different ways. Those stories are for another day.

Suffice it to say that when I found that God wanted to be my loving father, I didn’t have a chip for that.

I had a hard time with that because I’d blown through two dads already.  Neither one of those did what they were supposed to do for me. Things like loving and protecting.

The whole concept of a loving father was difficult. Because hey, what if I was just defective? Or even unlovable?

Now, as an adult, I know that that struggle was real, but I also know that was worth the fight.

God is my father, and He has overwhelmingly shown me His love. He loves me so much. You know, He loves you too.  So much more than you know right now. You’re not a mistake.

You were not unknown to Him. He created you in the secret place of your mother’s womb. And He delights in you. He delights in you. Did you hear what I said? He delights in you.

His character never changes, and neither does His love for you. He is all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-encompassing. All the things that we talked about earlier. He is those things. Creator, unchanging, faithful. He welcomes us. He is honest with us. He is kind to us. He loves us, and He forgives us. He is a capable father. And you know what? He is knowable. He actually wants us to know him. And when we know Him, we know we can trust him.

The things that we grew up with that sent us into hiding. The things that caused us shame and guilt, humiliation, and anger, He will use those things as steppingstones for our success in life. In those places He can replace our weakness with His strength. Those things? He is capable of managing them. He can take care of them if we let Him.

Today’s message may or may not be what you thought it would be. But my encouragement to you is to hang on. Keep coming back. Together we can find out, and actually learn to know God the way He planned for us too. We can live a life of peace. The one He’s called us to.

I hope this helps, and I want you to come back next time. We’ve learned about who He is now.

Next, we’ll begin to learn about who he says WE ARE.

In the times to follow, we’ll go on to some other specific things. But first, I really feel like it’s important that we know who He is and who He thinks we are. When we’re armed with those two things, we cannot help but prevail. We can’t help but succeed. It’s important if we want to win.

This is essential stuff. I encourage you to grab your coffee, and join me back here next time, on Significant Encounters.

Psalm 145:17-19 ESV 17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. 18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.