Significant Encounters is a place for you if you have experienced drama and trauma in your life. A place of encouragement for you. A place where you know that someone is in your corner. A soft place to land.
As I grew up, I became acquainted with concepts like mistrust and doubt, neglect, abandonment, illegitimacy, and adoption. I learned them and felt their effects even though I had no vocabulary for them.
Mistrust and doubt. These concepts were introduced, and well seated in my heart. My adopt-a-dad used to tell me that smart people asked questions. When I asked questions, I got told to use my head for something besides a hat rack.
Of course, this created confusion in my young mind. It also caused my skin to turn red hot with humiliation, and made me wonder if I should ask questions or not?
Mistrust entered my life here from being told something, and then having it turned on me, and made me wonder if I could trust any of what he said.
It turns out, he WAS right, about the question part anyway, the Voice translation of the Bible says it this way – “If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking.” But as my mentor would say, “The message was correct, but the delivery was off.”
Illegitimacy and abandonment. Illegitimacy was written in my DNA. My bio-dad wanted nothing to do with me even before I was born. I know I am not alone in this, and I know what a shadow it puts on our hearts when we know this truth.
Can I tell you that our heavenly father is not like that? The Christian Standard Bible relays this message like this – “Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.” Psalm 139:16
Now let me say a word about neglect and abandonment. I cannot say that I was neglected. My sweet mother worked very hard to make sure that my siblings and myself were fed, clothed, and housed.
Our emotions needed a lot of help back then, but that part of the equation was not readily available.
The abandonment part placed itself in my heart before I was born, and hid there, growing until such time as it could make itself known and turn my heart into something hard. Hot like molten lava, turned hard as hard as could be.
If your heart is soft, it is pliable. A pliable heart can take in circumstances; pain, loneliness, fear, abuse, and illness, and find a way to use them for good. It can mold itself into something new.
A hard heart? A hard heart shatters in pieces when it is thrown to the ground. Not impossible to fix perhaps, but so much harder, with so many fragments. Only the Master Surgeon would even consider trying to mend it.
I know that since God created us, He can also recreate us. However, we must be willing. We must ask and believe. In John 16:23B-25 it says Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.
Matthew 8:23 speaks of a servant being healed. And to the centurion, Jesus said, “Go; let it be done for you as you have believed.” And the servant was healed at that very moment. God longs for our hearts to be healed.
Illegitimacy. That is an ugly word when used describing children. The meaning is that of being contrary to law or rules; illegal; unlawful, or not recognized as lawful offspring. Born of parents not married to each other.
Things in 2022 have changed drastically, but in the past, through no fault of their own, they had no legal rights to any inheritance or property. The stigma of an illegitimate child has waned, however, statistics prove that it still causes some pretty bad effects.
Some conditions that come along with it may be, but not limited to, poverty, teenage parenthood, and the low educational status of the parents. Impact of Illegitimate Births
This brings us to the final, and possibly the most important point in this session.
Adoption. Back in the day, children without legal parentage had no rights at all. They were subject to whatever abuses came their way. A legal adoption gives that child proper rights, as though he were born in the same bloodline.
I became as entitled to my adopt-a-dads inheritance as my siblings, who were actually from him. Scripture has a lot to say about this subject. Psalm 68:5-7 says that God is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads out the prisoners with singing.
I WAS a prisoner, and God saw fit to make sure I was set free. What about you?
Have you experienced the “Spirit of adoption”? Galatians 4:4-6 But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” (Abba = Daddy)
And if they do not persist in unbelief, they will be grafted in, for God is able to graft them in again. Romans 11:23 Do you believe God sent His son for you? If so, then this verse applies to you;
Grafted in = Adopted into the family.
Here’s the very best promise of all. God says; I will not leave you fatherless: but I will come to you. John 14:18
Next time our focus will be on our thought life. Getting our thought life in order is the very first step to healing our broken hearts. I hope to “see” you then.