As I’ve stated in previous posts in this series, there is so much to cover on the topic of the orphan heart.
It’s causes, it’s long and short term effects on our physical and mental well being.
So it is no wonder that I cannot possibly cover it all here on this blog.
If the roots of our lives were rooted in soil that is angry, bitter, or fearful, then we have our work cut out for us.
We must begin to make different choices.
The right choices will begin to change how we think, see, and feel.
The best way I have found has been to begin to read and understand what the Bible says about who I am, and what is in my heart and mind.
Accordingly, I GET (it’s a privilege! ) to choose how I see myself.
Do I see my self the way I always have?
Or do I see myself the way God sees me?
That choice is my own, and beloved, it is also yours.
Your choice belongs solely to you.
God’s word says that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female created he them.” (KJV)
Do we choose to believe that, or do we choose to believe what others have said and done.
It all boils down to choices.
Do you know that I was 20 years old before I even realized that I HAD CHOICES?!?
But you? You can know it today.
We need to choose wisely; our thoughts, our deeds, our words.
We also need to guard our hearts.
Especially now, when these ideas are new to us.
Our old ways of thinking and being will certainly try to come back and overtake the new ground that we have just planted.
Guard our heart.
How do we do that?
We must continually nourish our new “plantings” by watering them; a lot.
In Ephesians 5, the Bible speaks of “washing of the water of the word”.
How we water is by always going back to what the word of God says.
Daily quiet times, or personal reading of verses, audio versions, or even devotionals can all be very helpful tactics.
There are so many ways to do this, we simply need to find out what fits our personality, our time schedule, our lifestyle.
Alongside the “watering” of our new soil, we need to be watchful for weeds.
As with any garden, the hard work of sowing can be overtaken by weeds, if we allow it.
What do I mean by weeds?
Well, the ones that I have had to overcome were old thoughts of insecurity, someone elses opinion, or maybe the toughest one, that enemy of my soul, who hates my guts, and wants me to fail tries to have this conversation with me;
Enemy; (In his best snarky voice) Well why don’t you do that? (Think that, feel that)
So I do what if feel God wants me to do
Enemy; (In an even more snarky voice) Well why on earth did you do that?
Then I simply feel defeated and used
I have an important thing to fill you in on about that!
God will NEVER speak to you in a way that will make you feel defeated, or cheated, or used.
If you hear THAT voice, it’s a lie from the enemy of your soul, the one who hates your guts.
HIS voice is always loving.
God will never ask you to do something that will cause you to feel abandoned after you’ve done it, or use a voice when speaking to you that will cause you to feel worse than when you began.
If this defeating voice happens in your head; RED FLAG!
Run (choose) very deliberately to go back to the word of God.
Seek HIS voice and council on the matter.
The Bible says that God will not ask you to do anything that will contradict His word.
We must forgive ourselves, and others.
We cannot forget our past, BUT we CAN forgive those who caused us pain, and then receive what we need from our father in heaven.
You’ve heard it said that “Hurt people, hurt people”.
This is so true.
How many of those hurt people had no clue that they were hurting you.
One of Jesus’ last words on the cross were “Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing.”
Imagine, the most evil behavior of all time, and the doers were unaware.
On page 122 of Healing the Orphaned heart by Casey Treat, Casey writes this – “Your job is to take heed of yourself and keep your self free. Keep your heart open through confessing (my note: Saying what God says about you) what is right and what is wrong. Forgive yourself. Do not stay mad at yourself or anyone else.”
Romans 12:19 (ESV) Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Lastly, let God teach you how to live your life in a big way.
Whatever He has called you to do.
Release what you cannot change -Don’t waste your precious energy on things that you can do nothing about.
Take steps towards change – If you CAN change it, then take a step. Doing what you have always done will not help you to get anywhere!
Tell your heart the right things- The world we live in constantly sends us messages that we are unhappy; We never have enough; We’ll never BE enough. It causes us to always be in a state of longing for something we don’t have, when really what we need is peace on the inside of us!
Have a chat with God each morning – It does not have to be elaborate, or even very intelligible, because He can read you heart. It can be as simple as “Good morning God. What are we doing today?” Just make the effort, so that He can meet you where you are.
Don’t be afraid of failing, be more afraid of not trying!
Here are a few links/helps, in case you want to delve into this topic more.
Whether they have thought it themselves, or been processed to believe it by others, self esteem is a huge issue.
It is an issue so large that it can give us the sense of being orphaned.
Our hearts feel orphaned because we feel that we are always “Less than”.
Less than the top executive, less than the doctor or the nurses, less than the pastor or other public speaker.
We feel less than the guy driving the cool car, or the lady wearing the most expensive jewelry.
The truth though, is that “No one is better than us, and we are better than no one”.
How do I know this?
Because I’ve read it over and over, in so many different ways in my Bible.
My belief is that whatever GOD says; Stands.
Even over what others say, or try to make me think.
We each have value.
It is given to us by God, the One who made us.
Romans 12 says this – Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind ….. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
As we read about in ⇾The Orphan Heart #5⇽, the fruit of the Spirit has the ability to change our thoughts and intentions.
We CAN renew our minds, and begin to believe what God our Maker has said about us.
Here is what He says in Ephesians 2 – For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 9 says For I know I the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for you, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call to me and come and pray to me, (read; Talk to me) and I will hear you.
Psalm 139 tells us that God knows us.
He knows us all.
He knows us all the way to the smallest parts of our DNA.
And He loves us.
All of us.
Even when our days are dark, He will not leave us.
Hebrews 13:5b says “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Since all these things are true, should we not, could we not, begin to see that we were made higher than the dirt way we see ourselves.
You can read more about it here.
Psalm 139 (ESV)
Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart
139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
I said all that, to say this; If our self esteem is suffering from how we were raised, (or not raised);
How we were treated by nice people or by bullies;
Called out in front of others by well meaning teachers;
or lifted up higher than we should have been;
the list goes on;
We have been damaged.
He wants us to be whole, and serve the purpose for which we were created.
He wants us to be ourselves, not who someone else thinks we should be.
He created us to be fully OURSELVES, not someone else.
He also wants to walk by our side and has provided help in the form of His word to get it accomplished.
He never says it will be easy, but it will be worth it.
Dig in deep.
Keep digging, and using what you find to get yourself healed.